|Jun 07 2008|
I'm fighting off sleep, it's almost 11 a.m. and I want to go back to bed already.
I've been feeling a bit lonely, I have one friend from NY that I talk with on the phoneand via email. She emailed me on the 4th saying she wanted to talk, well I tried to call her, but no answer. So I've already given up. I emailed her this morning and still no answer.
Crap and my eyes keep closing and I'm drifting off to sleep. Just typed a full line and a half of c's LOL
I went back to the pdoc on tuesday and I am back to 400 mg of seroquel at night along with 100 mg of lamictal. I know this has alot to do with my exhaustion. That and the depressed mood I'm in. Arrgh!
I did some reading up on Borderline Personality Disorder this morning and I've been dx'd with it before. I live so much of what was written there, especially right now bc I'm feeling unwanted. I don't do well with interperson relationships and I've learned to live with that. My husband is my best and only friend. Other than the girl I email.
I used to have quite a few friends from an addiction recovery board that I used to belong to, or so I thought. I ended up going manic for 3 months and the people I thought were my friends dropped me like a hot tater. They said they knew bipolar people and none of them ever acted like I was. I was really having a hard time and I took their rejection kind of hard. Anyway I distanced myself from them.
I just emailed one of the girls and she will not respond, so that's part of my depression.
I wish I could maintain a relationship with a friend. I lost my best gf after 4 years of friendship to cancer, so I guess I am still afraid of losing anyone.
Anyway, just feeling lonely and depressed.
Hmm it appears that
Should be doing laundry
So it's Wednesday
My the weekend flew and here it is Monday
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