|Nov 01 2010|
This is just an update of how things have been going for me. I am working a new job. I work with developed disabled people in their homes. The pay sucks but in this economy it's a job. I like thepeople I work with. The clients are nice people.
My son's back in counseling. He's still having some difficulties with his Bipolar disorder. He's had a small set back when he ran out of medication and I lost my health insurance from the loss of my job. I now get medicaid for the kids. I'm glad for that because then I can keep my son sane. He's got a lot of issues to deal with still. He has body image issues. I never thought that guys had body image issues. The media and main stream society focus on females and body image issues but not guys. I am doing all I can to help him out.
My husband has a new job. He's making decent money which is good in taking care of our family. He works almost two hours away from where we live so he's moved into an apartment closer to his work during the week and comes back to be with the kids & I on weekends. It's a hard situation but we are making it work. I have noticed a few positive things from this experience. We are back in church and trying to focus on more family things. My husband & I now have a sex life. We still have trust issues from my affair this past summer but are working on that. Him being away all week and seeing that I'm staying faithful is helping me rebuild trust in his eyes.
Our daughter is busy being ms. social butterfly. I am doing what I can to allow her the ability to be with her friends and enjoy her youth within limits. An experience I was not given. I had an on & off sexually abusive childhood. Then when I got a little older I had to help care for my younger brother & sister while my mom worked to provide for us. I have no issues that I helped care for my siblings and don't blame my mom for any of it. It helped me in caring for my own kids when I became a mom. I learned first hand what it means to be a mother and the sacrifices you do for your children. It wasn't an ideal situation but I'm grateful to my mom for showing me how to love others unconditionally.
I guess my life is going ok for what's going on. I just miss my husband so much during the week. I love Friday nights because he comes home and dread Sunday nights because he's gone. I call that apartment the work apartment. In my mind home is with me & the kids.
I HATE MYSELF FOR WHAT I DID TO MY HUSBAND!!!!!
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