|Mar 12 2010|
As everyone knows I just been home two weeks today after nearly a two week hospital stay which I nearly died several times on them. It all started with headaches, and ear ache and congestion. That is enough to set my lungs which already have MRSA in them overboard. When I left my house the first time by ambulance I was stating in the upper 60's sick and throwing up but still knew everything. I got sent back home by a doctor after about 3 days still very ill told I have lung cancer because I have overly enlarged lymph nodes in them. I was much to sick to come home I ended up throwing up all the way home they got me into bed and I don't remember anything after that. Apparantely I called some of the people here at the site and told them something was wrong and I was scared and lost and couldnt find anyone. That was how far outta it I was gone. My aide came in called the ambulance and shipped me right back out. They IV'ed me here and I don't remember any of it. Took me back to the ER where my aunt met them I still did not know anything my oxygen was in the low 50's and carbon dioxide was poisioning me. I was placed on one of their bi-paps that sucks stronger than mine and stayed on it and was admitted again. WHen I came to they explained without a biopsy they really did not know if that was lung cancer or not. I told them NO! I don't want one what is the use of it when they still cannot cure you that makes little or no sense to me. Besides stick a big needle into the lungs and pull it out knowing there is MRSA in them. THen if it gets into the blood stream I would be sepsis and die in no time at all. So they gave me new antibotics and tried to build my system back up then let me return home. After of course they highly suggested rehab and I highly refused it.
Being back home of course doesn't mean being well for me. It never will at this point it means being able to get into the wheelchair and roll around. Being able to transfer to the bed and back. Getting my shower with the help of an aide amd coming on here and talking to friends. When your sick all the time you know there is never a moment your gonna feel well but hey you pray for the moments God allows you to not feel as sick and you grab them and hold on and do the best you can and really try to enjoy the moment. Anyone of you guys that ever talk to me knows I laugh alot. Even in the worst storms of my life I can find laughter and for that I am blessed. I also love deeply and when I say it its not just a word to me I truely mean it from the bottom of my heart.
My body maybe wearing out slowly but surely but I fill my spirit is so strong right now. Oh I feel as if it shines brighter than it ever has before. THis illness will not beat me because I know when its time for me to go I am going to a beautiful home prepared just for me. So there is no losing this battle I will win and be victourious. Thank all of you guys for always loving me and letting me know that you do. Please always know how much I love each and everyone of you. And lets enjoy every moment we have together.
Lord I thank you for all you have given me and for allowing me to return home one more time and to MDJ where I Love to be. Thank you Lord for allowing me to be able to understand how these people really hurt. Lord allow people to see how serious MRSA is and the doctors to realize it cannot be shoved under a table. Lord I praise you immenesly for all you have given me and done for me. In Jesus most precious name.AMEN!!!!!
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