|Apr 30 2012|
This year has been pretty rough. I cant hold down a job and my family life is quickly spiraling downward. My doctor has suggested i apply for disability so i took the first step and applied. They sentme to a government appointed doctor who told me i was Scitzoaffective and had more anxiety issues than what i had listed on my application. These are things i have known for a long time but it is still hard to hear from someone new. Every time i see a new doc or counselor it is like opening my soul to a complete stranger. I almost allways think to myself "do you really care or just going through the motions".
I am kinda skipping around with this entry because i am having a hard time focusing at the moment but i need to get somethings off my chest and remember how much it helped me to be on MDJ.
My bouts of psycosis are getting worse and i am afraid to tell anyone but my doctor. i know my wife deserves to know but she has loads of stress allready and doesnt need my bullshit weighing her down. I cant afford to see my doc more than once every three months because i dont have health insurance and am a self pay. At $100 every 15 min. it gets expensive quick. i could probably find a cheaper doc but this one i feel comfortable with and he has helped me loads and loads.
Anyway i think this ramble is done for now, thanks for reading i guess. I hope you dont feel like it was a huge waste of your time.- WTF
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