Michael's Diary.. Intended to help

I was handling it pretty good. I was running 3 times a week, Walking when I could. I had gained alot of mobility back and wasn't afraid to go distance driving as much and hadn't had a panicattack in a while. My devotion to yoga and meditation was helping me to end the constant cycle. I had gone out in crowds and practiced it over and over again and was making progress.&nb

Hows it going agphobes? Any plans for the weekend? I'll be actually doing an antique show in the town I live at, going for yards upon yards thru gigantic hurds of people to squaddle thru old antiques. Always interesting stuff to look over and chat with folks along the way. The last time I went I got horribly full of anxiety (crowd complex) but did have a nice conversation with a guy who had a

I have some weird problem with my brain.. LOL. well I have relized now I can't listen to walkmans or anything with earpieces. I used to do this alot to help with the agoraphobia. Sometimes my musicwould calm nerves when I went for a long jog or when I was feeling agoraphobic. But it appears those days are at an end. At work, I would listen to online talk shows while on the computer. BUt, it se

I have litterally been dragged to and fro from one store to the next by the wife.  I am happy to say I have made it thru only with 'mild' agoraphobic symptoms.. I.E. - Mild dizzyness.  What a season.. .For an agoraphobic, its been 3 weeks of pure hell.. but I made it thru.. A special thank you to KOHLs, a store with a design that actually is laid out as to NOT produce our symp

Kept on mumbling something about a guy named silver and sounded out of breath.  I asked what was wrong but kept getting this loud beep noise from the other end and someone screaming something abouta phone number.  I told him he needed to stop having all these women over.. He said something about agor women need lovin too and went on about a hole in one.  I hung up at that point as h

I went to Kohls with the significant other over the weekend as she wasnted to check the sales.  I was pleasantly suprised that I had no panic attacks while looking at all the stuff for sale.  I guess keeping my mind occupied with christmas music and materialismo city I managed to not have any problems.  I do however have a wed. and Fri. coming up I am sweating.  The significant

Been offline a while as you have noticed.. Between eye strain and jogging my lunches, its been hard to really get time for my daily agphobe stop, but I'm TRYING as best I can,.. I really miss campagor and want to make sure I stay in touch with all my good friends here.  Jogging has been going well, though the weather is starting to get colder in california where I live and I think I may h

Ok guys n gals.. I have been fighting agoraphobia during my lunch hour so perhaps thats why you havent seen me online during lunchtime for a while.. I have been going jogging during my lunches outsideand progressively going further distances from my work.  Each day I have been trying new routes and going further and further distances around mountain view california.  The good news is I h

Whats normal for most people for me is a challenge.  Today came the once a year argghee when the wife revealed she had her free godiva chocolate cupon that comes once a year in the mail.  Everyyear its an anavoidable trek into the local 2 story mall to retrieve a couple of free truffles.  Well thankfully I was in a good mood and ready for a challenge today.   We went in an

Well agors.. I was gone for a season due to the fact that my dog has passed away suddenly and I was going thru grief.  Her name was michelle and while technically she was my brothers dog, I wasin shock at the news she had undergone a rapid decline in a 24 hour period that lead to her death over the weekend.  I had fallin in love with that dog as well and was in greif these past few da

I was able to goto the airport on friday.   I had some considerable anxiety upon pulling up in the parking lot and seeing right in front of my eyes that san jose is building a multi-level parkinggarage that is pretty sickening from an agoraphobic perspective.  Everybody kept telling me not too look at it, (my mom on the phone) and the wife in car.. I kept getting dizzy and ill staring

for the labor day weekend... I took the wife to san mateo so she can be with her friends and I came to eat some bbq and go swimming.  This is approx. 45-1 hour drive from home along the highway.  The last time I came this far. .I got very ill having panic attacks the whole way.  I did pretty good today and didnt have a panic attack but I did start getting ill and feeling lik

I have a problem with some airports. .. well.. Most.   I get ill at them and the thought of going thru them is somewhat sickening.  The only airport I have ever been to myself alone were Dallas/Ft. Worth.   The experience was kinda sickening but I made it thru.    I have been to Bush International, ,Huntzville International, Witchita, SeaTac, San Jose, and SFO.&nbs

It was my birthday so we went out for a bite to eat last night at a restraunt called cousin cafe.  After that, I picked up a hot fudge sunday at mcdonalds.  This morning, We ventured to the local farmers market and for the FIRST time, I was able to walk the length of the market which was fuming with people without getting dizzy or having those unreality feelings or fleeing feelings. 

Depending on how me and the wife feel when getting home from work, if we're not too tired, they are having an outdoor movie night in downtown pleasanton I was thinking would be good exposure therapyfor being in crowds of people.  I have noticed this before on thurs. nights in the town we live at and thought the people are usually pretty mellow and the flick is usually something interes

I know recently I have had tremendous attacks when the thought of riding in passenger seat of a car would come up.  I was however able last night to ride in the passenger seat of my wifes car whilewe took it to go to the wash which is about 15 min. from home while she drove.  I only suffered one minor panic attack during the drive.  I got there and we washed the car fine.. Our town

I watch on facebook where he updates his journal of his jaunts around the country and the world with ferocity, living vicariously and traveling vivaciously.. As SilverMan once said, Shit, I have troublegoing to quickMart.

 

after work last night I stopped at taco bell for what I thought would be an eazy.. Go in.. Get yourself a burrito.  The cashier was taking a long time to do the order and in front of me where a coupleyounger kids.  The kids started breaking out in laughter which triggered my weak self esteem to think they were 'mabey laughing at me'.. I started to feel anxious and dizzy but was d