Well, where to start? This is the first entry in a diary that I've made. Twelve years ago, I was diaognosed with prostate cancer. I was living in the Northern California region at the time, withmy then wife, Peggy, and daughter Kassi.

I was told by my doctor, a physican at Kaiser Redwood City, that I had a very "aggressive" form of the cancer after a biopsy. I need surgery within the next three or four weeks. Wow, talk about a bolt of lightening or something, that floored me. I remember being told I had to give four or five pints of blood for myself in the weeks to come.

Oh, by the way, my occupation, passion, and enjoyment is teaching competitive figure skating. I had a young couple competing at the Junior National Championship level. Peggy had planned to come to Chicago a couple of days after I got there. (she's also a great coach too!). Peggy told me that the results of the biopsy were positive. On the way home on the plane, I felt scared. That feeling was with me. I never shared that until today. But hey, what the hell, it doesn't matter.

Serfice to say that I had the surgery, survived, and then was told that the cancer had returned. Where? I don't know and neither do the doctors. I've been on Lupron for the past upteen years, keeping my PSA level very very low.

In that time, Peggy and I moved to southern California, bought a nice home, lived together , and then divorced. Why? Who knows. I'm sure it was my fault, but that's over and done with. Lots of recrimminations but those too, are in the past. Peggy was seeing another, who was my best friend, and attorney, but that too, is in the past. Peggy and I are sort of friends now, or at least as friendly as possible, but as for my past friend...that would be aHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NO!

Anyway, I fly back to California to have doctors appointments, blood work, and the like because I can't get insurance here in Texas with a history of cancer. I've tried, but each time, am sent a "response" indicating it isn't possible to cover you...Bahhh

I found over the period of the last few years my strength was waining. I no longer had even the strength to skate like I was accustomed to doing. My legs and feet felt like lead weights. I've taken some really hard falls both on the ice and off, because I don't realize I'm not picking up my feet, or no strength or balance. The lupron has surpressed the cancer, but also my taken my ability to skate, which is my living. Scarey, huh!