|Sep 19 2009|
I am ANGRY at the things that happened to me as a child. Im angry that my mom is borderline and bipolar and I never really liked her as a child. How fucked up is that to be a kid and just know that youdont like your own mother. My feelings have changed now but I will ALWAYS remember my childhood. I loved my grandfather. He was the only one who listened or stood up for me in my life so when he died all of my faith and sanity died along with him. I can no longer fake my happiness for the family. I will not keep my fucking mouth shut about my child molester uncle anymore! If he EVER comes near me or my daughter I will scream at the top of my lungs everything he ever did to me and my cousins. How could you let this happen and make us lie about it! How can you call us the liars for something he did to us. My grandpa knows now what he did. In death there are no secrets. Im not a religious person but I want to believe, I have to believe that there is a place for my sick fuck uncle in the afterlife where he can be punished for what he did since he got NO punishment in this life. He had NO right to take my childhood away from me. A part of me died that day. As a child to cry and to tell your mom and grandma what happened and they yell at you saying your a liar. Your cousin tries to kill herself in front of you over it and theres nothing you can do. I have seen so many fucked up things in my childhood that I will NEVER speak of even to my therapist. No wonder im so fucked up now.
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