Memoir of an Insider

What a night, i tossed and turned all night long UGH! To top it all off my spine was extra horrible and i fully woke up every-time i tossed or turned. I asked Armand to look and see where it was swollen, he said my entire spine was red and looked like scar tissue. As if i had just had major surgery and wasnt healing properly YIKES! I am barley able to stand today,  my spine cuts off nerves and makes body parts lose the ability to function. I'll be walking to the bathroom and almost fall on my face from not being able to use my leg from my hip down. Doesnt last long but does happen frequently.

No pain meds, no advil, and very little mary-jane left... today doesnt look like a very productive day. BUT i am in good spirits today, overly happy if you will. Last night i went for that walk i wanted to go on. I didnt go as far as i had hopped to, but i dont think i would have made it that far to be honest.  I walked to the little park by my place, walked to the store right by it and went in!, then back to the park. Sat there for a few hours joking around with Armand and his friend eric("Legs" is his nickname from me). Came home and passed out on the couch exhausted. I felt sooooo happy inside that i actually went and did something i said i would do.

 My mom invited me to a BBQ at my aunt Arlene's house today. I don't think i could have went even if i wanted to. Pain limitations are one thing but mental anguish is another thing to hold you back as well. My aunt arlene is the sister of my biological father. Once i feel more apt to telling  my "history" you will understand why seeing anyone from his side sets off bad reactions in me. 

Even with having something that big going on in my head today, my spirits are not broken. Today is a day to celebrate my accomplishment GO ME!