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neshama48"Having Crohn's Disease for over 26 years, in the first few years, it lonely and isolating.
Though now my disease is in a near perfect remission, my friends and family are sympathetic to me, but I can not talk to them about this disease. When I stumbled across MD Junction, and met others who had the same disease I was not alone in battling the disease. MD Junction is like a second family, without the judgement or guilt of having Crohn's Disease, but they do give you love and support.
" (neshama48)

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shortsort Just thoughts


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

Feb 28 2012

I feel like screaming today. Like swearing and breaking everything. It has something to do with noise. I want there to be lots of noise in order for there to be dead silence afterwards. I've slept12 hours, I don't know if it's because I've caught a cold or if I'm going into a depressive state but I don't like it. I've had a constant headache for about 3 days now, f***ing pain in the arse (and head) it is!!!

To add to my terrific mood I woke up with my mother who was making a whole bunch of noise. I didn't like that. In fact I almost got up and started breaking everything in my room. Then I thought "too much energy to waste" and went back to sleep. For another 3 hours... meh -_-'

I actually managed to clean the huge mess that was my room yesterday, only by the fact that I said that I was going to do everything as slowly as possible... which really worked! And so I decided to do the same today, I am going to do everything as slowly as possible, but I am not sure it's going to work. How exactly do you do things slowly without being condemned (mostly by yourself) of being a slow pathetic human being that has no right to live and should be squished out of it's miserable existence? Cause that's what I've been thinking ever since I woke up today.

Positive thoughts? Tried that. Happy music? Tried that. Good food and dancing? Tried that too.

...bugger... 

I don't know how to get away from this mood, but I know that I am going to try all the above again and see if it works for my day. And eat something. As previously stated, "The lack of food restricts a woman from her true potential". If that's true, then let's go make some good food! 

...bugger...



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