So me and my councelor have been working on boundries. I have three grown girls who have there own lives now which I have a hard time staying out of. Of course a lot of the time they suck me back inwith a need for help but I can't always just give them what they ask without giving them my opinion or input etc.

I have always had this kind of a problem not only with my kids but with other family members, co workers etc. . I always feel the need to fix everything for everyone. Maybe because I have such a hard time fixing myself! Also have hard time saying no! No to working more hours, staying later, doing extra work. Saying no to family changing plans  I have made to suit themselves. Saying no to the kids schools ( when they were little) and needed last minuet help. Saying no to friends and family who need help with, moving, a loan, transportation, a place to live...

Don't get me wrong. I love to help people. I just wish I could learn to say no when it is not a good time for me. When I am already streched to thin and bordering on collaps. Or when I take it out on my husband or family when I am frustrated about the request.

So, I have been practicing on not only saying no but maintaining my boundries. One thing I had to do was tell my husband to do the same thing. Because even when I am suceeding, he will get sucked in and I will have to pull him out or get sucked in too.

I know there is a fine line between help and enabling I just need to find it. Maybe some new glasses will help!