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kisabear Dealing with multiple infidelities and other issues that come with Manic Bi-polarism

I still love her

Mar 21 2011

First of all i want to say I love My Wife...

but my love comes with a price...

About 6 months ago my wife was diagnosed as bi-polar, we knew she was depressed since the birth of our firstchild. Now it is about 9 years later..

We moved to Vancouver Island about 4 years into the depression for a much better job than i had previous.. we sold our house that my wife loved and still blames me for giving up.. she still claims to this day that that one move was the cause of our main problems..

After about a year on the island my wife started making new friends she started to stay out later and semmed to be happier for a while .. we bought a new house and she made friends with a few more people and some young girls around 14ish that started calling her their other mother.. her one friend Ron was recently single and most of the times she spent she spent at his house..Many night she would come home just as i was leaving for work at 5ish in the morning a few times freshly showered saying that she was in their hot tub and needed a shower. I trusted her I talked to all of the girls, they were over often,, things didnt seem that strange but she was happy.. she liked being a mother figure to these girls and she like having these friends.. i told her i was worried for her and this ,,,well being there all of the time,, she assured me she was being a good girl and i believed her.

my wife spent about a year in the company of this family .. told me she even thought of them like her own family.. we were still having sex at the time and it didnt seem that different .. maybe a little less but it seemed ok.. I always thought that if she was cheating i would know.

one day her friend from the house Ron was on the phone as i was talking to her and calling for her before i went to bed.Ron came on and said in a joking manner that he was fucking my wife... she quickly took the phone from him and scolded him saying that he was just joking..

My wife also was close to another man there a friend of rons called tyrone who fucked everything that walked in that small town we live in.. His ex told me several times that my wife was banging her ex but i told her she was insane...

After about 4 years on the island and my wife losing her second job she asked if she could return to the mainland to find a job there as she was having trouble finding one on the rock.. she and i decided to move her downstairs from my mother til i could sell our place and get back to the mainland...

It took anbout a year and a half but eventually i got back....when i did it all hit the fan...

I was looking on the computer on facebook her account was left open and i looked at her messages...loud and clear was written I really do want to fuck you to some guy i later find out is a trucker from her new work...this was written 2 days before my boys and i took a trip across the border for a few days some time prior. i also find message between the two trying to figure out a time when she can sneak to the island with him to supposedly go get the rest of our stuff out of storage...

i confronted her and left for a day... she told me that she never actually slept with him it was just talk she knew she was getting too close and she stopped... I came home

Thats when i really started looking... the stuff i found on the net was from some 4 years back to now talking to guys to make appts to meet in some nice quiet place and fuck... she even had internet sex with a guy and then came and slept with me.. she told the guy she had the best sex with me that night....nice..I took pics of all of it about 50 pics in all of all sorts of plan and talk with these men

But thats when i found him the guy from edmonton who was flying in and wanted to hold her and kiss her sweet lips again they had been going at it for at least a month or at least thats what the e-mails i found led me to believe... again i confronted her and she said she met him through an i-phone app and it lasted about a month ... but this wasnt a one time thing it was a full out affair...

After that i went to our dr and told him what was going on he said she may be bi-polar and told me some stories that made her look like an angel...she is now on new meds that for the last few months seem to be working but i am still at a crossroads on whether to continue this relationship... I still love her but she hasnt touched me now in a meaningful way for well over many years and i dont want to live in a loveless disrespectful sick relationship..

i took a vow and i have still strong feelings any advice is helpful...


Comments (3)Add Comment
written by serenityandpain, March 21, 2011
Hi, I don't even know how I found this diary but the title was in a list in my profile and I clicked. I feel really bad for how you have been treated, maybe you should check out the emotional abuse forum. I don't know about bipolar individuals but I'm not sure being manic means you lose all empathy for others. It sounds like your wife was being really selfish and when she got caught she wanted to blame her actions on what might really be a mental health issue. In any event it just sounds like a crappy situation for everyone. sorry =/
written by yourkillingme, March 21, 2011
my lady did the same thing there sick, in its not gonna stop ,she left in im hurt in it wont stop.i feel your pain but if you want to stop hurting i think you know what you have to do.bpd loves no one.
written by kisabear, March 25, 2011
thanx to you guys for your opinions i am still going with this relationship but it is nice to hear what others think whether i take the advice or not time will tell.. its amazing the different perspectives froma woman and a man though i think what will happen next is i will let my wife read this and ur opinions and comments and see if she wants to write what she feels happened i am sure it will be from a more emotional standpoint, mine was purely fact... i dont think it would be a bad idea ...we will see

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