Diary Entries for learning721

Happy New Year!!

learning721

To the MDJ world...I wish everyone a Happy New Year and greater progress toward healing from all illness. I'm still going strong and by the grace of God, may it stay that way. Even in the midst of despair a light can be found and even when all seems lost, joy really does come in the morning. Never give up. Refuse to let sickness rule and remember what power you have in your thought life. If your mind can tell your arm to move and it obeys...what else can your mi [...]

2010-2011 Prayer

learning721

It has been forever and a day since I have visited here, written here, and now here I am! What a great journey this is turning out to be!!!

Since the last time I was here I have seen nothingbut improvement and I thank God for that. I want to emphasis again the prayer I wrote many months ago, because I feel it is just as important today!

Thank You God that even when I am humanly weak, You are infinitely strong. Thank You that even though I have countless flaws, Y [...]

For my family and friends (those who wish to be prayed for)

learning721

For my loved ones, my beautiful babies, my friends- I pray God's will for your health, that His plans for all of you are for health and prosperity.

Lord, I ask that no weapon or sickness or curse formed against my loved ones will prosper. I rebuke anything that is not in line with Your will for them. Thank You Father for the strength of Your word and Your promises.

Thank You for Your constant protection. Amen!

Just a personal quick prayer

learning721

In the name of Jesus i bind and rebuke anything that is not Your will for my life and for my health. I rebuke anything that exalts itself against You Father God and I thank you that no weapon or evil thing formed against me shall prosper. Thank you for my blessings.

Thank You Lord that Your plans are good plans to give me hope and a future! Anything else is a lie and curse from the enemy! Thank you and I praise You Lord! Amen!

Progress Update

learning721

So i'm back and after much "inner"work i can say i have made improvement emotionally and spiritually... physically...well my body's trying to catch up with me!

Things are startingnot to get to me the way they used to. It could be the Saint John's wort i'm taking and it could be the progestrone creme i started... and it could also be the pyschotherapy.... it could be all of the above in conjunction with GOD.

Anyway i'm happy to be back and i'm pr [...]

Wow, a little peace...

learning721

Today was awesome! It started out TERRIBLY, but ended wonderfully. I actually took a very blissful nap today- something my tense body has not been able to do. It was amazing how at peacei was with some of my son's nap melodies playing. lol That was a HUGE accomplishment for me.

The emotional side of this disease is what has been the hardest for me as i know everyone on here can tell. It is the worst feeling ever to think you are going to die any da [...]

What a Day

learning721

Today i learned a valuable lesson- DRINK LOTS OF WATER. EAT AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN DURING THE DAY!!! I will push myself to do this-even if i feel crappy.

Xanax

learning721

So my symptoms are creeping me out again...but the really nice thing is that xanax really nipped my anxiety in the bud...i mean it made me very drowsy (which explains why people take it at night) butonce i got past that i felt a peace- i was able to forget how i felt- and in writing this i am STILL okay, how many hours later? So yes, my tendon reflexes are not a good sign- but i have LYME. yes, they are listed as symptoms for MS and ALS and even Nerosis (anxiety) and also vitamin defici [...]

Counseling

learning721

My hubby went with me today to my counseling session with my new pyschotherapist. She is GREAT. Very to the point but GREAT. I feel a real connection!

So my chores or homeworkwas to write a list of all the positive things i would like someone to say to me and say them to myself. The other assignment is to get a rubber band, put it on my wrist and flick myself every time i say something negative. Won't that look nuts at the grocery store! I think [...]

The unknown

learning721

I hate not knowing what's going to happen from here...I hate not knowing what life will be like for us in the next few years.

Kiddos

learning721

I'm worried about my babies.... my son is having muscle twitches again

Leg vibrations

learning721

The last two nights my legs have been "buzzing" when i lay down... what is this? toxin overload?

You Guys Are GREAT!

learning721

It's like i never want to get off MDJ b/c i know i've always got good support here!! When i'm feeling bummed out i just hop on and someone always makes me feel better!

Alone

learning721

why do i feel lonely with this? Maybe it is because my husband simply cannot understand what this is like......

Chocolate Pecan Pie

learning721

Okay i started out today on very good eating behavior and then my sister brought a pecan pie over- a chocolate organic pecan pie. What was i to do?

Anyway i'm up late again andthis is becoming a bad habit. My husband is snoring and i am wishing i had someone lymie to talk to. If my husband has lyme he wont say a peep about it. I'm craving more of that pie.... i must be loaded with sugar beasties.

twitching died down today- who knows why. [...]

Turkey Day

learning721

I'm up super late again...worrying about ALS. Is it normal to get twitching this much? It was an all day event today. I'm hoping i just pissed the bugs off with my Olive leaf. Okay going to sleep... So i can wake up and try very hard not to worry about ALS or cancer or heart attacks... i'm looking forward to eating pumpkin pie in PEACE later today. I don't care how many dietary rules i'm breaking, i've been eating like a rabbit for the past month.

Up Late

learning721

Ok so it's officially tomarrow. I have an appointment with a neurologist today to make sure i'm not dealing with possible MS or ALS. Most likely all ANXIETY. I'm so tiredof trying to talk to doctors who know nothing about lyme- two of my lymie buddies think this visit is going to be pointless as neither of them had anything show up on EMGs. Is an EMG painful? They both said so. And what's the deal with the spinal tap? Is that even safe?? Anyway [...]

Symptoms

learning721

Popping everwhere. Joints/Tendons going nuts. Muscle twitching. Cold hands and feet- one episode of chills a few times a week. Morning nausea. Bloated head and minor headaches. Migratory leg, arm, ankle, foot pain. None today thank God. TMJ. Throat/esophagus pain- feels like an ulcer sitting in there. Minor tingling in hands today. Is this even lyme???? Worst fears- cancer or ALS. No cancer as of yet though- although i hav [...]