Long Shots

 written  7-24-2011

My partner smiles at me while im sitti ng at the computer.  "You made a friend he says happily.  Ican't believe all  the self awareeducated people there are on this site.  I sta rt to feel like my mind is spinning.  I start talking while hes sitting on the floor being a mad scientist with one of his genius projects.  "youre acting hyper"he says.  Is all this writing causing it?"  "nope I clip.  I just need to go take a shower"  hes known me for16 years.  The rule is t even if I dont believe him I must listen.  Ive had bipolar along time and know I m self aware I have to slow down, leave the computer and find something boring and monotonus to doI am really pissed.  A simple pleasure for most people makes me feel like Im high on some terrible drug... 

My therapist doesnt understand.  I was in a mood regulation group where there was no one with bipolar just run of the mill wellfare queens with nothing better to do.  But you see I needed them.  Ihad nowhere to go to communicate.  they all talk about how intelligent and thin I am.    when i read something I've written they all say wow or that's really smart.  I went hypomanic with my wisdom.  The clients and the therapist said "youre glowing"  Translation Im manic.  my last episode stated when it was announced that the nday therapy program thru the clinic was going to have groups open to everybody.  Furthermore, clients could be trained and get paid to help the chronically ill individuals.  I remember my brain exploding with excitement.  i could finally use my degree  to be continued...