|Mar 01 2013|
|Oct 30 2012|
Once again things have become more normalized here. I'm thankful that my husband listened to the pdoc and has been much more willing to take his risperdone when needed. He actually took it of his own accord, the other day. It does make him tired and sleepy and I miss him when he sleeps the day away, but I have learned through these past few years that sleep is necessary fo
|Sep 26 2012|
Nivlac is back to a certain degree. Enough to recognize him, anyway. I really don't feel much fear this time, though. It of course concerns me for my husband. And I neverwant to go through what I did in 2010. So, I stand watching, ever vigilant, only this time I feel strong. They say knowledge is power. That is a far-reaching statement. To hav
|Aug 17 2012|
|Jan 22 2012|
He lays there, distant looking, crying inside
I touch his face in hopes of encouraging him
Nothing helps at these times.
He cries with his eyes wide open, no tears, staring
Emotionless, staring, staring, staring at nothing
I try to help him, I stroke his face again
I ask him what's wrong, he says he wants it all to be over.
Life is meaningless and
|Jan 14 2012|
My husband has been hypomanic off and on for several weeks now. I've enjoyed the energy and he's more conversational than normal, but unfortunately, along with this comes irritabilityand anxiety. Today was a very anxious day for my husband. He has weekend duty this weekend, so that puts him working M-F, S &S, M-F before he gets a break. 12 days. That is
|Dec 02 2011|
New day, still sick, but Christmas movies on the tv are therapeutic for Lollipop. I'm feeling better and thinking there might be some good folks out there....lol :D:D:D:D:D All of myfriends on mdj have been so good to me since I've been on here. I think my experience with my husband acting out last year has left me more suspicious of other people's sincerity than e
|Dec 01 2011|
I've been sick today, got a cold somewhere and it's kicking my tail. I don't know if being sick is making it more hard for me to keep my thoughts straight tonight or what. I'm going back in my mind to alot of stuff that I don't want to think about. I was watching television and I was thinking nothing is really real or good about people anymore. You ca
|Nov 02 2011|
|Oct 13 2011|
Every night my husband and I have been reading the Bible together. Generally, he prays before meals and I pray before bedtime. Last night, he prayed before we went to sleep. My husbandwants so badly to get better. He said he hopes he can keep his job. I asked him, "Have you been getting in any trouble at work?" And he says, "No".
|Oct 09 2011|
Today I had to come to the hard realization that things are never going to be exactly the same. I feel nothing negative much anymore as far as the infidelity issue my husband suffered throughlast year. I realize he didn't mean to do it; I know the disappointment in himself nearly cost him his life. His memory is like an electrical short, sometimes connecting and othe
|Sep 24 2011|
Today started out great. I fixed lunch for the 101 year old lady down the street and my hubby delivered it to her because I had a women's brunch to attend. I never go anywhere so I was fairly excited about attending this and got picked up in a gorgeous convertible by a lady from my church. I barely know her, but she called and invited me. It was so nice of her.
|Sep 15 2011|
I'm leaving for Houston again. My hubby and I are going for a business trip, together. I've been thinking of all the things I would like to do while there. And also, thinkingof the things I don't want to do while there. Like reminisce and relive the ridiculous things that happened last year. I'm not going to do that again. I feel like I&
|Sep 06 2011|
My husband had a rough labor day weekend. He was able to function but he was slipping up and down in his moods, with a depression episode that was one of the worst in a couple of months. He was super depressed for nearly 2 days out of the weekend. We rarely ever argue but we did have one heated argument this weekend. It lasted about 1 hour. Sheesh. The thing
|Aug 31 2011|
|Jul 13 2011|
I've been told throughout my life that I am a fairly easy-going person. Not much really makes me mad. Just a few things...injustice, seeing anyone mistreat a child or an elderly person, hateful customer service reps, sorry waitresses, whores, or when I don't feel like someone is respecting me. Actually that is probably the thing that tics me off the most. No resp
|May 31 2011|
|Dec 23 2010|
Farewell To Twenty Ten
Farewell to Twenty Ten
We'll not cross this way again.
There have been good times and bad,
With hope for thefuture making us glad.
Although bipolar is a neverending task
Staying with our loved ones is all that we ask.
We love them, we won't leave them, we'll stand by t
|Nov 03 2010|
As I thought about my life over the years with my husband I wrote this:
Like beautiful prisms of light dancing their way across a sunlit room
I reflect onthe beauty of our life together.
A life defined by loving relationships of
|Nov 03 2010|
This year I hurt so bad, for so long. I isolated myself from everyone while trying to find some way to stop the pain I felt. I wrote many poems while alone this year. I asked the Lord to help me remember the history I had with my sweet husband before all of this happened. These are some of my thoughts expressed through poetry:
BOUND BY A RING
|Nov 02 2010|
|Oct 28 2010|
My husband's supervisor has been out of town for an audit, leaving my husband in charge of the whole section. He doubted his ability as he feels very tired on his meds and his self-confidence level has been practically nil since his mania this year.
He has amazingly made it through this week, so far, managing and accomplishing things quite well. He even told me that
|Oct 27 2010|
Today I have had a pretty good day. It's been quiet around here and I've had alot of time to think about things. I am trying very hard to let everything my counselor said to me soak deepdown inside of me. She said some things to me that I've never thought of before and gave me a different perspective to ponder.
My heart and mind cannot deny that my husb
|Oct 25 2010|
Even though this year has proven to be the most challenging year of my life, I must not stall here. I have to keep going. I'm trying to see more clearly what I need to do and how toachieve it.
I have scheduled an appointment with a therapist to once again go talk to them about my inability to forgive the incident of my husband and the other woman. I thought I had for