10-27-2011

ok. Im getting better with just accepting myself. That means I have good days and bad. Just read my last entry and realized I only write when I'm REAL bad-on the edge you might say. Well I'm bracing myself now cuz fall and winter is approaching-here really. This past summer was WONDERFUL!!! I took my meds and had NO bad days!. Up early-busy all day-few naps-up late. No problems. But now??!! UGH!! Bad days have started. They come one at a time, maybe 2 in a row. But I'm dreading that they will get like last year. Last fall/winter was my worst so far and I fear it will be even worst this year, but I will try to stay optimistic.I'have been making small changes slowly to help myself. Like going to the gym-my rhumy is really encouraging me to use the pool-but I just shrink when I think of getting in an indoor pool when it's cold outside-maybe it's just me. Anywhoooooo...........Trying to eat healthier. Taking my meds EVERY day is still a drag! STILL don't get to them sometimes till after 4pm!!

Bad girl, I know...My rhumy  perscribed me a "TENS" machine-nerve stimulation thingy. It IS nice.I guess it's a coveted item. Heard peeps asking for it at physical therapy.

When I have good days I don't want them to end, and I'll just keep going and the time goes by SO fast! I never know what the next day will be like, but I'm getting better at accepting the bad days. I just have learned a new way to live on the bad days. It's a life few can understand, but it works for me! It can be depressin, but thank God I have this support site. It can be lonely, and it is a PAIN to keep explaining to people!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So...........thats it for now. We shall see where this winter takes me. I hope to write more. In the good times and bad!