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Why wear a ribbon?

  "My brother in law suffers with Parkinsons disease." (Joys)

MDJunction to me

Fmsdaddy"Md Junction to me is my safe place. A place where I can feel safe to just open up talk about everything without burdening my wife. With all my health issues its nice to know that I am not alone, suffering form fibromyalgia,depression, and costochondritis with anxiety is a nightmare. Having the great people here at MDjunction is so great its hard to put into words. I dont think I would be getting through what I am going through without this great resource. I think everyone should know about mdjunction!" (Fmsdaddy)

MDJunction testimonials
haze2313

Living to fight

My diary is just a synopsis of the day's events and how I'm feeling.

Norco addict in the fam

May 19 2011
So it's been a long time since I've journaled. Since I began taking what is known as my year and a day at a new age

shop, I've been feeling emotionally so much better. That beganlast September and is continuing on. I have found

strength in once again having a sense of faith, hope, and belief in a higher power(S). As I have continued to grow

emotional...

Bipolar Rearing It's Ugly Head *When peace has been in there for a long time*

Jan 25 2011

This week I've been a bit stressed about the possibility of having another pregnancy after my miscarriage in 2008. I had just recently gotten back together with my current boyfriend after takinga break because after my ovarian surgery during christmas I had not only rage from the anesthsia, but a whole host of issues to handle. Unfortantely, trying to handle all of those things without adeq...

Appointments and Disappointments

Jul 27 2010

Well life for me over the past several months since my surgery has been hectic to say the least. I found out finally what is wrong with my back and have beengoing to physical therapy since. However, the sheer amount of medical appointments I've been having our wearing me out physically and mentally. Today I was supposed to have a cardiac stress tes...

Surgery Nightmare Again

Mar 04 2010
Well, the good news first before I begin bitching. I my right ovary was able to be saved for the second time in a year. Last Thursday night I began to feel pain on my right side and just shoved it offas being related to
irritable bowel syndrome. By Friday evening I was in such pain that I had to run to the emergency room. When I arrived at the first hospital of the evening I waited two hours...

What a last few weeks.

Feb 03 2010
Ok so my sister had her baby Emily Grace on January 18th. However, it was not without complication. Emily came out via c-section by her feet. My sister lost some blood and got a seroma. None the less I spent 7 days watching Emily's big brother Noah. I would have stayed longer, but drama started developing and for no descernable reason I was kicked out of my sister's house.

So to...

Confused as ever

Jan 13 2010
I'm at a point in my life right now where everything just seems confusing. Though I am accomplishing some of the tasks to keep life moving at a somewhat normal ebb and flow, I just don't know how to make the next steps.

My sister is due to have her second child my niece Emily Grace on January 18, 2010. This is bringing up a lot of my  issues that are related to my miscarri...

Long time no write

Oct 07 2009
Well, things have been up and down for me lately. I started working in January 2009 and had to leave a job where I enjoyed working in July 2009.My bipolar symptoms were acting up and I was in a "Mixed" state. First time I had noticed being in a mixed state, but it hit hard. It has been upsetting to me to have to leave a job again because I was too sick to work. This has been a trend sinc...

Just Holding On...

Apr 18 2009
This week has been another week of stress. Monday and Tuesday were fine. Wednesday I went to

work and ended up in immense abdominal pain. I was in so much pain that I have missed work

Thursday and today. I went to the OBGYN on Thursday and he found a Dermoid Cyst in my right

ovary. The sucker is over 2'' in diameter and needs to be removed.

I...

Battling Toward the Light Everyday

Apr 07 2009
Well where to start. It's been awhile since I wrote in my diary, but I think it is well overdue. I believe I am starting to see the light finally after 5 years of battling BiPolar and other traumasthat have occured. I recently got a job in downtown Chicago after praying that I would in December and January. So I believe that the Lord does his work when you feel like you have no hope.

MDJUNCTION posting problems....

Jan 06 2009

Ok just spent 20 minutes writing a diary entry only to have it lost in the internet world again. Does anyone know if mdjunction supports firefox???

Frustrated,

Shawna

...

Hormones and BiPolar

Dec 07 2008
Ok, so gotta start writing again. For the last two weeks I have been suffering (cycling) like crazy (literally). One minute happy, the next minute crying, and after that just plain angry. I know this is an effect of the loss of the pregnancy hormones and starting birth control again, but it's hitting me like a ton of bricks.  I've been to the doctors, they've added my old med (Tri...

Missing my little one

Nov 30 2008

Tonight I watched Haven. At the end the main character of the movie finds out she's pregnant with Satan's child. I don't know why, but I ended up sobbing for half an hour and as usual repeating"God took my baby". I finally ended up calling my mom at 1:30 in the morning.  I wish I knew how to bring peace to myself. Instead I've turned to what always seems to calm m...

Ughhh...Diary Issues

Nov 11 2008
Ok Just wrote about two pages of diary...and lost every single bit when clicking save. Does the site have a idle time logout? Bahhh!!!
...

Better Today....At Least So Far....

Oct 29 2008

So ok, yesterday must have been the peak of the bad stuff. Today, I've been busy and focused on getting ready for my trip to Indianapolis. I forgot to call my  counselor today, but hopefullyI will call her tomorrow morning. Still feel like the hospital might be a good place to start working on why I'm so tired of fighting. Which is really what it comes down too...Sick of the doctor...

In Agony

Oct 28 2008

The last several weeks have been the worst of my entire existance. It takes me three hours to fall asleep and in that time I am crying, suicidal, and alone.  This has gone on for two weeks now. I put on this tough face everyday and at night I take it off and all my wounds are showing.  I want to die just to be with my baby. After four years of bipolar manias and 14 hospital visits one...

half shitty, half normal

Oct 18 2008
Ok, today's been a mixed day. Work was better than yesterday. I was in a lot less pain. Which is good cause yesterday I had so much cramping I thought my uterus might bust out of my body. To add insultto injury my roommate informed me I was being passive-agressive. Her claim was that I was slamming doors and not talking to her. When truthfully I accidentally slammed the door once this week and...

And it all gets dark again

Oct 17 2008

Today is the day I wished I could have pulled my head under the covers. I wish I could scream so loud that it would shake the neighborhood. Not only do I have to deal with the loss of my baby (whichthe wounds are still very open), I now have to find a new place to live. My roommate "the heartless bitch that she is" has decided to kick me out of our place as of December 1st. Her reason...

Seeing a little light

Oct 16 2008
Today's my first official day without my baby in my womb. She was removed from me at the hospital yesterday Oct 15, 2008 after she was found without a heartbeat on Oct 13, 2008. I still can't believe she is gone. My prayer is that she is up in heaven with her great-grandmother who is teaching her to play cards. I started to wake up out of the grieving for just a little while today. I went...

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