This morning is rough. I woke up and my head is huring. I get out of bed and BANG, my back is killing me. But I think I know why now my back hurts like it does. I was at my doctors on Monday and talkedwith him about my pain meds. Then I asked him about my back. I know that I have 2 kidney stones in my right kidney. So he went a head and did a urine test.

Will, I guess kidney stones can move around and that is what is happeining to me. The doctor did find some blood in my urine and so he feels that the stones are moving and causing the pain. I learned that kidney stone can move and that is how they move down so that I can pass them.

Passing a kidney stone is worst then having a labor pain when your having a baby. All of the pain is on my right side. And this morning it is killing me. So here I am, my back is hurting, my head is hurting and I don't feel so good. I don't know if the stones are trying to pass, but I wish they would do something. Either come out or stop hurting me. Some times I just feel like I'm one big mess. It seems like every day of my life I have to deal with some kind of pain. And I have to admit that it sure makes me mad.

No one, and I mean no one should have to live like this. But what really gets me is that I know now that I will never get the headache to go away. I will have to live and deal with this forever. And I also found out that a person can have kidney stones for years and not pass them. Oh, I hope that isn't me. I think maybe the best thing for me right now is just go over and lay down on the couch and do the best that I can with all of this.

I hate the fact that my days are spent taking care of and trying to deal with pain. I never thought my life would end up like this. There were so many things that I wanted to do with my life. Right now I guess I sound a little depressed. But when you live with this kind of pain on a daily bases it can some times really get a person down. I try very hard not to let things get me down. I don't want to live my life in a depressed state. But Geezz, it's hard to keep my chin up on these kind of days. I guess all I can do right now is take a pain pill and lay down. I have come to hate my pain pills, but at the same time I don't know what I would do without them. I can't give up on my life, I still want more in my life. Oh Gosh, my back is just killing me. I need to go and lay down.