I haven't had a chance to write lately. Life has been crazy. We had all of our company and right after they left I got sick with a sinuse problem. Wouldn't you know it !! So it has taken me overa week to start feeling better. Now I need to spend some time cleaning the house. We still have it on the market and now that things are looking better in the market I want to be able to keep the house cleaned up. You just never know when some one is going to come along and want to buy it, I hope. I also need to start thinking about the holidays. We will be traveling this year so I need to start making plans for that. Time for me to fly, I got things to do.

I haven't written in some time, but I have been busy. Last week my folks were here for a visit. And they had my 2 nephews with them. We had a good time. But I have to admit that it wore me out. The day after they left I was sick. And I mean very sick. I was in bed until 1 O'clock in the afternoon. I don't ever stay in bed that long. But my head hurt me so bad that I could not lift my head up off of the pillow. I got up long enought to take my medicine and then I went right back to bed. Oh My Gosh, I was sick. Yesterday I was better, but still I sure didn't feel very good. My head hurts all of the time, but there are those time when I get right down sick with a headache and that is what happen on Friday. I'm feeling better today, but I will have to watch myself. I don't know what caused the headache to kick up so much. The only thing I can figure out is that maybe when company was here we did allot of running around. So when they left and I was able to sit down and relax. I think maybe that is what kicked it up. I'm not sure about that. Later this week we will have more company come in. Our daughter and her husband and he's mother will be here for 4 days.The day they leave we will get more company later in the day. We will then have my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, and our 2 nephews from Australia. And they will be here for 2 days. I don't know why every one at once has decided to come down, but they have. My only concern is that my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and nepehws will show up a day early. Needless to say I will be spending the rest of this week cleaning house. It's crazy around here right now. And then yesterday I got some news that upset me. A very dear friend of ours is now in the middle of a divorce. I didn't even know there were problems. She lives in another state and I know her very well. And I know that she didn't call and talk to me because  the pain is to much for her. She is a wonderful person and I think the world of her. I just wish she didn't have to go thur this. She has to young sons and I know she is trying her best to protect them. Her husband hasn't been the husband that he should have been. Gosh, now that I think about it, I was in their wedding. She has been a good friend to me and I love her as my friend. My heart is braking for her and her boys.

  My day today is cleaning house. That is as long as my head will allow me to clean house. I have to watch myself or I could end up sick and in bed again. And I sure don't need that. I'm off to start cleaning bathrooms.  

 

Yesterday morning I woke up in pain with my back. When I got up I noticed that my right leg felt weak. And as the morning went on I started to have a dull pain shoot up around my right hip and downinto the front of my hip. I thought I could just rest and take care of it. But I was wrong.   

By that afternoon I knew I needed to see my doctor. So I called and was able to get in that afternoon. The doctor checked me out and he decided that because I have 2 kidney stones in my right kidney they have been moving around over the last couple of month and they have cause me to get a kidney infection. So he put me on an antibiotic for 5 days. He has also set me up to have an altrsound done on Monday. He wants to know how big the stones are and where they are in my kidney.

I'm feeling better. My leg is feeling more normal, but I am tired and I still have pain in my back and around my hip. Hopefully by tomorrow I'll feel even better. Time for me to rest. Pain makes me tired.   

This morning is rough. I woke up and my head is huring. I get out of bed and BANG, my back is killing me. But I think I know why now my back hurts like it does. I was at my doctors on Monday and talkedwith him about my pain meds. Then I asked him about my back. I know that I have 2 kidney stones in my right kidney. So he went a head and did a urine test.

Will, I guess kidney stones can move around and that is what is happeining to me. The doctor did find some blood in my urine and so he feels that the stones are moving and causing the pain. I learned that kidney stone can move and that is how they move down so that I can pass them.

Passing a kidney stone is worst then having a labor pain when your having a baby. All of the pain is on my right side. And this morning it is killing me. So here I am, my back is hurting, my head is hurting and I don't feel so good. I don't know if the stones are trying to pass, but I wish they would do something. Either come out or stop hurting me. Some times I just feel like I'm one big mess. It seems like every day of my life I have to deal with some kind of pain. And I have to admit that it sure makes me mad.

No one, and I mean no one should have to live like this. But what really gets me is that I know now that I will never get the headache to go away. I will have to live and deal with this forever. And I also found out that a person can have kidney stones for years and not pass them. Oh, I hope that isn't me. I think maybe the best thing for me right now is just go over and lay down on the couch and do the best that I can with all of this.

I hate the fact that my days are spent taking care of and trying to deal with pain. I never thought my life would end up like this. There were so many things that I wanted to do with my life. Right now I guess I sound a little depressed. But when you live with this kind of pain on a daily bases it can some times really get a person down. I try very hard not to let things get me down. I don't want to live my life in a depressed state. But Geezz, it's hard to keep my chin up on these kind of days. I guess all I can do right now is take a pain pill and lay down. I have come to hate my pain pills, but at the same time I don't know what I would do without them. I can't give up on my life, I still want more in my life. Oh Gosh, my back is just killing me. I need to go and lay down.   

Not much to write about. I'm having one of those days where I'm feeling very lonely. I don't have friends here and all of my family lives in another state. I have been in this area for 13 years and I still am not able to find any friends here. They always want to talk about their religion and then they want to know why you don't believe the same way they do. I have no problem with religion, but please don't tell me that if I don't believe the same way you do that I'm wrong. We are all Gods children and I don't think any one is better then any one else. My husband works allot so that means that I'm in this big house all by myself most of the time. I am so sick of the teleivison that I don't even want to hear it any more. But what does a person do when you don't want to watch t.v. any more. I have been reading a book, but this book is really stupid. So I guess I need to get a different book. For some reason I just can't get myself to settle down. I'm jumpie and I'm nerves and I'm not sure why. Every since our dog passed away a couple of months ago I find myself being even more lonesome. I'm in the house allot. I have got to find something to do with myself. Being alone so often can really work on my nerves. But I have to learn how to deal with being alone. I would think by now I would be use to it, but I'm not. I guess I'm just kind of blue today.   

Yesterday we again were able to get out on the sailboat. We didn't sail so much but we did catch up with some friends and spent the afternoon visiting. Then we just motored around for a while. I hada great time. I have been trying to get out and have a little more fun. I guess I didn't realize that I wasn't have any fun until my doctor asked me what I do for fun. That got me to thinking. I am sick so much that I don't get out much. So I have decided that I'm going to try and have some fun. And so far I've been able to pull it off. But I have to admit that after a day of fun I kind of pay for it. This morning I woke up with a headache. Not that my headaches go away, but some morning it's worse then others. And my whole body kind of hurts. But that can happen when we are out sailing. I have to keep trying. I want more in my life. I am so tired of being sick all of the time. So if it cost me some pain to go out of the house and have some kind of a life I guess that is the price I will have to pay. Oh, how I dream of a day when maybe I'm not in pain.

Yesterday I had some fun. My husband had decided to ride the Harley into work, so I decided to go with him. If I get a chance to go for a ride I want to go. So, I got to ride to work with him which wasgreat. And then we had to take some things down to a work shop, so again I got to ride. Then in between shows he took me home, so I got to ride some more. I was having a great time. The weather was perfect, and I had wind in my hair. Who could ask for anything more. But, today I'm hurting. I don't know why my head is hurting so much. It seems like every time I go out and have some fun I have to be in pain the next day. I can't let this slow me down. I have been getting out of the house and I have been having some fun. And it's been a loooooong time since I have had some real fun. But some thing did happen yesterday that I had never thought of. I am at home most of the time because I am sick most of the time. So my daughter knows that I am here most of the time. So she had called me during her lunch and I wasn't here. So she just thought I had gone to the store or something like that. So then later she called and I still didn't answer because I wasn't here. She left me a message and it went something like this. Mom, where are you? I have called twice and you don't answer. I hope your not hurt. As soon as you get this message call me. So not long after I was home she called. And boy, she was just a little upset with me. I found out that since I live so far out in the country and that I'm home most of the time that she worries that if I get sick and I can't get help that I could be in trouble. It never crossed my mind that she would feel that way. But, she has a point. So I had to promise her that no matter where I go that I will have my cell phone on so that she can get a hold of me and so that she can check on me. What a kid !!! It's good to know that she cares so much. I didn't mean to freak her out, but I didn't think about her calling and me not being here. I feel kind of bad that I upset her like that. But we both got a laugh out of it and she alright now. So from now on I have to have the cell phone on. LOL !!  

Yesterday I got a wonderful surprise. It was Sunday so I thought that my husband and I would be going to the sailboat. That is what he likes to do on he's one day off. So I was getting ready togo to the boat and he stopped me and told me that we wouldn't be going to the sailboat today. At first I was disappointed. But then, he says "We're going to take the Harley and go down to Eureka Springs for the day, would you like to do that?" And I said Yes, Yes, Yes !! We have never gone out on the motorcycle for that long. So we got ready and got on the bike and off we went. It was WONDERFUL!! I enjoyed myself so much. The weather was perfert and we had a great time. We walked around and looked in some of the shops and we stoppped and had lunch, and I just enjoyed being with my husband. And I enjoyed riding on the Harley so much. Put on 128 miles on the motorcycle. I couldn't have asked for more. Today I am huring a little bit, but it was all worth it. I also did something else this last week. I went and cut my hair up to my shoulder. I have had hair down my back for about 15 years now and I wanted some kind of a change. Now this week I'm going to color my hair and I'm going to change the color. I have never done this before. I have colored my hair but always just to cover up the gray. I'm going with a new color this time and it's going to be lighter then my natural color. I sure hope it comes out right. LOL !! It really feels good not to have all of the hair. I guess my hair can be kind of heavy because when I have it cut it feels like there has been weight taken off of my head. I'm going to have to watch myself today so that I don't end up down sick. I don't want to do that. I really, really, had a good time yesterday and I hope that we can do it again soon. My husband, what a guy !!! I think after 25 years of marriage I'll keep him. LOL.

 

Yesterday was a very bad day. I woke up with a headache and it just got worst as the day went by. My stomach was so upset. And I hurt from the top of my head right down to my feet. I have a couple of sore spots on the top of my head, my back was hurting, my legs ached, and my feet hurt. I had been waiting all week for yesterday. My husband had some time off and we had planned on spending our day either going for a ride on the Harley to a very beautiful state park or spending the day out on our sailboat. I was so excited, I couldn't wait to spend the day with my husband. But when I got up yesterday morning the first thing that hit me was the headache. I thought if I got up and tried to get some kind of control on the headache that I would be able to have a great day. And then my stomache start getting upset. I would have given anything to get the pressure off of my stomache. It wasn't long before my whole body was in pain. I wanted to have yesterday with my husband so bad. And when I finally started to accept that I wasn't going to be able to go for the Harley ride or get out on the sailboat I started to cry. I'm not one to cry, it even freaks my girlfriends out when I cry. Which didn't help the headache at all. But I was so disappointed. I can't figuer out why I was so sick. I have been thinking about it and the only things that I can come up with is the fact that we are to have a rain storm come in today or the fact that I was so excited about having the whole day with my husband. Can I get a headache like that from being to excited??? I spent the whole day sleeping. I did get up and take a warm bath in the while pool tub. It did help with the body pain. I have been so upset about yesterday. It seems like every time I plan on doing something I get sick with a headache. I don't get out of the house much because I'm sick so often. So when I get a chance to get out and have some fun I guess I get to excited. I'm feeling some what better today. But if I don't watch myself I could get as sick as yesterday all over again. I get so mad at my body. I'm not that old and I have a body that just won't work with me. Tomorrow is Sunday and I have hope that I will be able to go out on the lake and have some fun sailing. But at the same time I'm scared to get my hopes up to high and then be disappointed like yesterday. I get so tired of being sick. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for tomorrow. I really want to get out and have some fun.

Not much went on this 4th of July. We don't have family here and I haven't made many friends, so I guess it wasn't much of a holiday for us. My husband also had to work. Some times the different holidays don't mean much becuase my husband works. I had to go to my doctor the other day and have her look at a couple of spots that are on my arm. I'll have to have them removed, no big deal. But when I was there the nurse took my blood pressure and it was high. So she checked my file and then checked my blood pressure again. She told me that the last few times I have been in my blood pressure is up. Each time I have gone in my blood pressure has gotten higher. So of course my doctor asked me what is going on. I don't know why my blood pressure is up. My doctor also got to asking me a few questions like, what do I do for fun?, What did I have planned for the holiday weekend?, Will we be having company or family in for a visit?. We didn't have any plans for the weekend, No company coming to visit and as far as having some fun, I guess I don't do much of that. So we had a talk about what I can do to maybe get my blood pressure down. One of the first things she said to me was "get out and have some fun". I have talked with my husband about why my blood pressure may be up and he feels that I'm stressed out all of the time. In a way I guess he's right. But I have lived with being stressed out for so long I'm not sure that I know how NOT to be stressed. If I really think about it I been have stressed since I was a kid. My husband also feels that once we get moved that I won't be so stressed. I sure hope he's right. I don't want to have to deal with high blood pressure. I take so much medicine now and I don't want to add another pill because of high blood pressure. So I guess I need to start learning how to relax, to be honest I'm not sure if I know how to do this.