|Jan 01 2011|
I miss "Luvvy" from Luvvy on line. She had Lyme for many years. She took so may phone calls from me I couldn't count. All of the changes are scaring me - people's comments have gottento the point that I don't know how to "see myself". Why do I have such wierd symptoms - they are not exactly the same as others'. Mine are sometimes totally "off the wall". My vision is doubled - eye doctor said I am not showing signs of double-vision. It's like a shadow - while one image is prominent I have another one like caligraphy along side. I am stuttering or more like getting stuck mid word. It got really bad last week - almost like a stroke but not severe. Just one side of my face/mouth working and the other not with the side still working mumbling/slurring. A few days before it happened I made my once-a-week phone call. She said I was slurring then. I didn't notice it - it was like a precursor. It has happened a few other times, but not so severe. This last time it was barely there and I started getting stressed from coordinating an activity at the church and it got so bad people were having trouble understanding me. This upset me and most likely that didn't help the situation either. I am an outgoing person and now I get too ashamed to be that way. I never knew what Bells Palsy is and I don't know much now either. All of this crud that is happening scares me. I mean, I still get the "travelling twitches". I have tried non-prescription "cures" and prescription drugs also. I am even crying right now... I want to give up sometimes. Especially when people say they haven't heard of the stuff I have or that it is something that sounds odd - which makes me feel like I am imagining all of thie symptoms.! What is happening? am I losing my mind - AUGH!! I don't know what to do and most likely the answers are the same and I feel even more warped. I just don't know...
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NEW YEARS EVE