| Nov 21 2008 |
We have been having a lot of issues. Dealing with his son and his ex wife have made the last couple weeks really stressful. After another round of having to go get the kids from her in the middle of the night on a school night, he decided (with my prompting) to file for full custody. The first few days, I felt he really thought it was best. Now I feel he is just going through the motions for my benefit, so I wont get mad. It feels like he doesnt even care about his own kids well being.
Yesterday, he was acting "not himself". Back to the old Brandon...shutting himself off from the world, drinking himself to sleep, turning his back to me. Im being punished again and as usual, I dont even know what I did. Usually when he behaves this way, its because he isnt taking his meds regularly. So, I checked and he is 20 behind on his lamictal, 33 behind on his wellbutrin and 39 behind on his cymbalta. Apparently he knows better than his pdoc. He also had an appointment on the 18th with his pdoc that I found out this morning he blew off.
Why am I expected to deal with his illness and accept the unacceptable when he wont even make the effort to take his medication and attend his doctor visits? His paranoia is picking up again and he is becoming withdrawn and distant. I told him last week that I was starting to feel like we were roommates with benefits instead of a family and he completely ignored me.
Our trip to Florida is less than 2 weeks away and he just informed me that he did not and will not ask his ex wife to keep his kids. He suggested we postpone it. I will not. I am going. He suggested that we pay someone to housesit, which translates to I should pay someone to stay with his kids and I just cant afford that. Ive already paid for this entire trip as it is. He makes 3x what I make but wont part with his steroid money.
Today I am at a loss. Im tired of making consistant concessions when he refuses to do the same. Im tired of being his punching bag. Im tired of my needs and wants being secondary to everyone elses. I dont want to live like this.
Hopefully our counseling session on Wed will be productive.
it is very infuriating when you have saved to pay for this trip and then at the last minute HE wants you to pay someone to housesit or not go at all... well is it refundable??? also you have obviously discussed with him the possibilty of the kids actually going with you, is that possible??? i am not sure what your situation is exactly however if you'd like to write to me in a private message i will be able to offer more of my opinion at that time... 
