|Mar 10 2010|
Can't sleep - again. My dear hubby has been snoring so loudly I was afraid the neighbors would be ringing our doorbell just to get silence. Pain is bad tonight. The "fatty tumor" attachedto my lung has started causing pain again. The doctors tell me "there is no way you feel that." Yet, I do. I can tell them exactly where I hurt and they see it on the xrays. Hmm - why don't they understand WE feel pain differently than others?
Last week my son drove me to the ER due to the pain in my ribs. They did xrays. That is where the latest doctor told me I 'shouldn't' be able to feel that 'tumor' in my lungs. He apparently did not believe in Fibromyalgia. He said my other than my pancreatic enzymes being elevated, my blood showed 'some' inflammation. Guess what he told me to do for pain. GO HOME AND TAKE IBPROPHEN. Did not offer me that in the ER. I left probably feeling worse than I did when I got there.
Very sad that some doctors seem to think we are there only for pain meds. I would have appreciated a shot or something to relieve me there. Yet, in the next room, I heard the same doctor asking a guy if he had given him enough loritabs to help the pain from his infected finger. What the crap? It's not right.
I see my neurologist again next week. Maybe he can help manage my pain some. The carpal tunnel is "nothing" compared to some of the other pain I'm encountering. The burning in my hands and feet from the peripheral neuropathy causes much agony --- nothing I do seems to help it. I am beginning to feel as if no one in the medical community cares.
Who knows...maybe I'm having a pity party tonight. I can barely breath without it feeling as if a knife is going through my ribs. I can't get comfortable to go back to sleep and I have to get up in 2 hours in order for my daughter to get ready for school.
I've also started going to therapy to monitor my depression and anxiety disorder. I am hoping they'll help me some AND help my Disability case as I am appealing. I sometimes wish I could run away... maybe I feel sorry for myself too much. My hubby has enough to deal with on his own.
Possibly the pain will ease off enough soon for me to 'nap' a bit before I take my daughter to school. The bad thing is that when I am feeling this bad I often turn off my alarm in my sleep. I'll set like three alarms, so maybe I won't turn of all of them. It's almost 4 a.m.here already. UHG!
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Why does everything have to be so damned hard?
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It all came flooding back!