|Jan 23 2011|
I just hate it. Most of today was not too bad. My pain was at a almost tollerable bad 8 however I did not do much. Now I feel like all of a sudden I was hit by an 18 wheeler. Now I feel like crap 10+.
I am so tirred to feeliing sick. So tired of not living life to what I feel would be the fullest. I am tired of living a half of a life. I look at others and how much they are able to do with out even stoping to think about it.
You know sometimes life just stinks. I wish that I was normal. No one but you guys understands. Everyone around me just is like what is the big deal??? Well it is a big deal to me the fact that my pain is so bad a wish when I finally fall asleep that I would just not wake up because the pain is sooooooo bad. I am depressed and I need some support and I just feel like it is not there. I may smile, I may look like I am ok but I am NOT. It is like what do I have to do to make them understand. I have given him lots of stuff to read on it and he has read it. However he just does not seem to understand how bad it is. The normal people in my life that I love are just making me crazy.
Sorry for the complaining I just had to let it out before I burst.
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