Why wear a ribbon?

"To show my support 4 every1 who is suffering with a health condition & not being..." (Poobear36)

MDJunction to me

"MDJ gave me the chance to see that, in reality, I was not alone. It is my refuge. It means true understanding, shared knowledge, and support that is free of judgment. What I have received and given here is more powerful than I ever thought it could be. This place is all about love." (Cata)

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Lesley from Scotland's Diary

Will be 60yrs old on 20th Jan'2010. Had first Hypothyoidism,then pain pain pain! All sorts diagnosis's and treatments over the years. Am now resorting to wheelchair to get around - have fought it for many years - still don't like it. Was a triathlete, skier,swimmer, cyclist,runner,artist,clothes designer - you name it I had a go! Till it all stopped one September with an overwhelming tiredness and pains in the soals of my feet. I put it down to overtraining but I have NEVER got better. Pains moved all over my body. Developed lumps. GPs - humm interesting? Although always eaten healthy diet and reduced it due to reduction in exercise I put on a lot of weight and nothing will shift it. So now had tiredness,pain,fat and no possibility of doing most of the things I liked to do. Have a husband, son and daughter (both in their thirties). All have tried their best to understand, but I know my husband who is 62 is tired and resentful now. I could write pages, but I think that is enough for now.
Status at moment: very tired, depressed, giving up the fight.
Given it about 15 yrs - think thats enough.

Shouldn't be here in MD

Nov 11 2011

The whole point of MDJunction is to help people to be positive about their illness. I have Fibromyalgia and other illnesses which have developed from it. I am 61yrs old. It started when I was 45. I havefought it all the way. Tried everything. I am/was a very upbeat person. I was not going to let this get me down. Well it has finally won! I read all the discussions and diaries, articles etc. Think, been there ,done that. But I am very definitely in a wheelchair(I've fought the damn thing all the way). My body is so weak. My brain is trapped in this crumbling mess. My doctor who has been with me all these years is distressed for me as he knows how hard I have fought. So I cannot say or give any positive things to people who truely have Fibro. You do NOT recover from Fibro. If you think you have recovered, then you have never truely had it. I do think a lot of doctors say you have it when they don't know what is wrong with you. Doing that is wrong as it totally confuses the whole issue and does not help us get to the root of this awful illness. So I don't think I should be here as I have been through it all and can offer no hope/light at the end.

Previous diary posts by lesleygough:

Done it Again!
Please read Switch Off-Zone Out Comments
Zoned out-Switched off.

Been ill? There's nothing new!
Today the fever has gone and I just have the aches...
Friday 28th Oct 2011 4pm here in Scotland

Comments (2) Add Comment

written by faerie, November 11, 2011

Lesley, - - - with respect sweetheart, - - - now is exactly the time that you need to be here. I so fully understand how you are feeling, physically and mentally. I have had fibro (and others things) for decades. It started when I was a teenager, but it only got a name about 10 years ago. So yes, - I have also fought with everything in me.

None of us are capable of giving support all the time. When we are strong enough we do, when we aren't someone else will stand in the gap and keep us propped up.

This group is not about false promises. It is a group of wonderful, caring and understanding friends who really really understand! No matter how supportive our friends and family are, it is impossible for them to relate to our problems.

When things get so bad that I want to chew through my veins (LOL) it is only by coming here that I stay sane. (Well sort of sane)

I think that the comfort of being able to talk to my friends here - who will give me help, hope and hugs is such a blessing to me.

So - - - - don't you go anywhere!!!! Stay with us!!! You need us and we need you!!!!!!

Gentle hugs. Faerie

written by doseydoe, November 11, 2011

Lesley,
Sometimes when I read others frustrations, anger and despair it does help. I do not feel so lonely; I am not the only one who feels this lousy. Encouragement does not have to be rosey and optimistic. We try that everyday but in the end we still feel a lot of negative emotions. Tonite yours is the only diary I read but I am glad I did.