I'm here again. Down on the floor with my head against the cold tiles.  It feels like there is a 10kg weight tied around my neck and I just can't lift my head. While I'm busy drowningin my own warm tears, trying to make sense of this thing called life. One big chaotic happening which I happened to stumble across 29 years ago. And now I"m stuck here. I can't seem to find the right road that's meant to take me to the garden. In stead, I keep getting caught up in thunderstorms and sadness. I hate this mental illness bipolar.