I have had a hard few days with pain and mentally.  i ran out of my medicine and was in bad shape for a few days and it got me to thinking.  I guess I am so used to pain due to having thebabies but thought has been going through my mind that I might never be out of pain again in my life.  I am only 30 and to me that scares me.  I am so frustrated I am going to therapy and taking a ton of meds and I am still in pain through it all even I can bare it most of the time but over all I am just upset and shocked I guess because I am not sure where this came from.  I didn't do anything that I know of I just started my period and my back was hurting and then next thing I know everywhere hurts all the time.  My RLS is horrible right now it used to be just once a month and now it's every night.  My IBS is horrible right now as well I have been severely constipated then today I am having diaherra! AHH  It's just so frustrating.  I had my house all clean and the laundry was caught up and then with the holday and me not feeling well again I am back at square one again tons of laundry and this house is a mess once again.  I just want so badly to be in control of my life and actually take care of my family the way I would like to.   I tell myself daily that sometimes things just start. People don't always have cancer they wake up and find out that they do.  So in a way it's kinda like that I just woke up and now I am in pain all the time and it just might be forever.  I don't know a ton about Fibro and I am hopeing that I am just having a flare up now and that hopefully it will subside over time.  I just can't believe I am so dependant on medicine what has happened to me!   I thought after all the troubles I had with pregnancy that now that we are done that I could start to live my life fully and I kinda feel cheated that ONCE again  I have to go through something and go to more doctors.  I am very tired of going to doctors.  I guess this sounds like a whiney little girl I am trying my best to put my best foot forward it just sometimes get so difficult when all you feel like doing is sleeping and you have your little children wanting so much from you.  My daughter was talking tonight about wanting mommy to feel better and I really don't want her to remember me as someone that couldn't run around and play with her like she wanted.  I don't want to be known as sickly.  I am going to do my best to not complain about how much pain I am in and just tell you guys and my husband after hours.  Well I am falling sleep sitting here and need to get to bed.  Until tomorrow... Wednesday is going to be a great day!