So...I decided to call my Mum because I haven't spoken to her in a LONG time about a month, and she lent us some money so we could go cross country to his fathers bed side while he passed away. 

I call she wasn't home, so I called my sister and have come to find out that my dad finally got the car of his dreams and because my mother claims she is "uncomfortable" (IT IS A MERCEDES!!) this can only be interpreted as I am scared of the car....so now my father is going to put it up for auction.  I am up in arms about this and this is one of the rare times my sister and I actually agree on something.

On a mental health note...the urges aren't as strong, I am getting more sleep, I am keeping in touch with a lot of my new friends here on the forum...THANK YOU!!

It took a lot of courage and desperation to actually reach out...I even told my therapist and he said that I am one of the strongest Bi Polar people he has counselled! WOW must not have been in the business that long then huh doc? I don't take compliments very well.  Need to work on my self esteem and realize who I am, what I like and not give a s**t what others think.  One day.....

I Hope you are all safe and feeling ok, if not please get in touch, I'll talk you off a ladder.....