I am beginning to feel like getting help for this pain was a mistake.  This is turning into a mess.

I emailed the main office of the pharmacy that refused to fill my prescription to complain.  Yesterday, late afternoon, the pharmacist called me to apologize and he said he would be happy to fill my prescription.  I was so glad and felt like I did the right thing to complain.

 Today, my husband stopped at that store for something else and happened to talk to the store manager who he knows due to his work.  She said that she found out the pharmacy doesn't have to fill any prescription.  Like a liquor store, they can refuse service to anyone for any reason.  She was very annoyed that I had caused them trouble by complaining.

 He told her that the point was, he LIED when he said it was illegal to fill it.  She didn't seem to care and was still irritated.  She also said something about a miscommunication between the pharmacist and my doctor.

 Now I feel bad.  So did he deny me because he thinks I am a drug addict?  What other reason would he have?  Is this how it is going to be?  Just because I finally decided to get help for the pain, I am a drug addict?  I can't have people thinking that.  What will that do to my kids?

 I guess I never should have tried to get help.  I should just suck it up and deal with it.  Maybe I should just get all my meds through mail order.  Then no one will now what I am doing.  

I have never been a secretive person.  I never had a reason.  I am careful to do things right; I'm almost fanatical about it.  I hate when anyone breaks the rules.  I get mad when my husband goes in the business lane at the bank drive-through to cash his check.  I carefully count my groceries before using the express lane.  I like to follow the rules so I don't have to worry about not having a clean conscience.

All of this has me very upset.