Hello in there.

Jypzee13

Dear Friends,

Once again I'm away for far to long. New updates are as follows...... My meds seem to be working, I am feeling better. I work alot more hours than I probably should but find that it is very rewarding. My kids and their kids are all doing well and the holidays went beautifully. Here is to hoping each and every one of you had great holidays and that 2013 is bringing you many great advantages. Good health, love and laughter. Hugs to all.

Its been to long

Jypzee13

I miss you my friends yes it has been to long and alot of water has gone under this bridge. Been way to busy and I forgot the most important rule of all, Must take care of me before I care for othersso I have put myself in a pickle for sure. I'm worn to the bone and need to come up for air. Having med problems but we are working to fix that and I'm coming in for a landing and taking care of me now just to work on the guilt that creates. How are you all and I hope this finds each of yo [...]

Announcing

Jypzee13

Greetings and Salutations to all who roam here,

My daughter gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on Feb 13th 2012. I am very blessed with the light of Grandchildrenand Great Grandchild in my world, when all else seems wrong that is the one constant right im my world. My Children, Grandchildren{16} and Great Grandchild. I push forward with love in my heart and no matter how tired I may be or how sick I feel I return to the love of family for my stre [...]

Hello all

Jypzee13

I'm afraid my visits are so terribly infrequent you all may forget me. I'm crazy busy working 6 days a week 9 hours a day. Lets top that off with sinus and ear infection and bronchitis. Gettingbetter yet slowly. We are also waiting upon the arrival of Grandbaby # 16 very very soon. So pins and needles I sit. I think of you all often and wish I could set you up in my phone because I'm much closesr to that than to my computer. Such is life. Hugs to you all and the ones I speak to the m [...]

WOW!

Jypzee13

You all must feel I ran away from home. I work so much now that I rarely have time for the computer. Although I will say I keep you close in mind. Sorry for my absence. No symptoms have changed. We got a new addition to our family. A Great Granddaughter was born on Oct 5th, 2011. Her name is Diamond Dakari Rae. Beautiful as her name. So I am a Great GrandMother now and proud as punch. So good news for a change. I miss you guys and wish I was here more often. Maybe santa will [...]

Hello all my friends

Jypzee13

I know its been to long I've been away. I'm here sending wishes of happiness health and safety for the Holiday approaching.

I've been away once again to the faceof many deaths in the last month family and friends have passed away and saddness weighs me down once more. Thus proving I have yet to work thru what deaths brought me in October. I find myself hiding from the world once more.

Tomorrow is another day I will try harder [...]

I've not been here. I've not been anywhere

Jypzee13

I'm locked up inside of me and finally decided that group therapy (Wings) and a personal therapist are going to be exactly what I need. Tired of trying to stay numb. I need to come back into thesun once more. So hello to all my friends here, I think of you often and wish I would speak more. Gotta find the words that could possibly express how I feel. Or rather how I'm not feeling. Hiding has always served me nothing but a choice I make everytime I feel any pain. And yes anger is eatin [...]

And still

Jypzee13

She dances with grief. Seems the universe is teaching me that I need to learn how to grieve. We just lost another dog. So this makes 6 losses in 5 months and I've yet to understand how to get beyondthe anger process. I'm tired and want this to stop. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Birthdays

Jypzee13

Yesterday my Father would have been 76. I wished him shellfish beer and Texas walker ranger.

Always questions why don't I hate him? He so traumatized my childhood and now thatits safe to hate him I just feel nothing. Is being numb yet another defense mechanism?

I know my CFS panis disorder and insomnia are back in full swing and I'm pretty sure it has something to do with stress. So yay go me I'm tired and panicky all the time and my he [...]

New Year

Jypzee13

Still trouble being my friend. I've been sick for 4 weeks. I have and ear nose and throat infection. Couldn't possibly have anything to do with stress eating away my immune system. I think of all of you always just been away from this machine for far to long.

Moving forward

Jypzee13

Nobody ever said it would be easy and I really had no clue how much legal mumbo jumbo come along with estates that are not settled before death. Mark my words I Will Not do this to my children. I willhave everything finalized so they could grieve in peace. Its like a million little fires needing to be extinguished. Such is life at least I'm learning new things.

Just Another day in paradise

Jypzee13

Is it possible to have so much going on that numb is the only thing you can feel. I truly seem to have no emotion I can pinpoint. I have started to write my poetry again yet the words all seem sowrong. I really am not sure if this is a normal of grief or if there has just been way to much happened for me to get a grasp on anything. Anybody got any ideas?

Grief

Jypzee13

There has been no time to come up for air. I believe the universe needs to be moving on to someone else. I will no longer be trapped in this cycle of saddness. I must move forward and find light at theend of this very long tunnel I've been wandering. The last loss is my daughters miscarriage we are done. Now its time to move forward into brighter light.

Thanksgiving

Jypzee13

A time for reflection, a time to be thankful. Life is to short to live with regret love laugh and live to the fullest.

Never ask what next

Jypzee13

Ugh,

So onto the next chapter. My client I was caring for with visiting angels got rid of me because I'm to strong of an individual and could not cave or cry to her temperment. I'm so screwed. Talk about depression. To much loss and I feel so done in now. How can I chin up when I keep getting knocked down?

New Month

Jypzee13

Not much is changing. I've been instructed to journal and stay very in tune with myself. I work with the elderly so a grief counselor worked with me from my job so that I can remain in the present. Right now the only thing working is to stay incredibly busy. I love to live in chaos. This to will change when I take the time to grow.

So for right now my friends I'm hollow hurt angry and confused stressed out and living in chaos. This to shall pass

Its been a hell of a month

Jypzee13

Well where to even begin? We got through the service for my brother in law. However I will be burying my Father on this Friday. At 4:13 pm Oct 27th 2010 my Father had a massive heart attack and passedaway at home.

This death comes with great confusion for me. My Father is one of the people who molested me as a young child. Therefore I'm not sure where my place is with this death. I'm only there to hold my Mother up at this point in time.

The end came to soon

Jypzee13

My Dear Brother in law Richard passed away Oct 19th 2010 at 10:25 pm. His family and closest friends were with him as he went. I'm very sad but just because I'll miss him. I know that he is nolonger suffering and there is reason for everything. I just don't know why a good man had to die. So if I'm not around for awhile it is because I'm taking some down time to heal my broken heart. Everyone remember that life is entirely to short to hold grudges or not make an effort to spe [...]

Checking in

Jypzee13

October just keeps getting worse. My brother in law had a massive stroke and he is in a coma. This was the guy who played protector over me most of my childhood and kept me out of trouble. Now its my turn to protect him. My heart is breaking. This to shall pass. I know but for now I'm going to let my heart feel broken in honor of Richard. :(

Yes its been to long

Jypzee13

Its been a very long October. My dog just died. My Brother in law got diagnosed with Acute Leukemia and my Father is dying. I'm having a really bad time of things. Not even enough time to worry aboutme and all that I deal with on a day to day basis. Just stopping in to say hello to all and let you know that yes I'm still around I'm just not ok right now.

Diary Entries for Jypzee13

Hello in there.

Its been to long

Announcing

Hello all

WOW!

Hello all my friends

I've not been here. I've not been anywhere

And still

Birthdays

New Year

Moving forward

Just Another day in paradise

Grief

Thanksgiving

Never ask what next

New Month

Its been a hell of a month

The end came to soon

Checking in

Yes its been to long