so many thoughts & feelings. I can't keep doing this. you have to help yourself. I tried and I tried to do everything I could now I'm at the end of my rope. I can't give up it'snot in me but if you don't make a valued effort you will be exactly where you don't want to be. on the streets, alone, a junkie. If I could change everything for the better I would. I would do it just so you wouldnt hurt anymore. so you wouldnt self medicate the hurt. I beg you to do something before it's to late. Do you know how many days I sit and think about what I would say at your funeral? What I would say to your family who has been thru this more then me. I cry inside for your pain, i cry on the outside for your hurt. I cry. I cry. I cry. I don't even know how I keep having tears for I have cried so much. I pray that you get the help you need after searching for so long. I know you feel as if you don't belong, but you do, you belong in my life for the long haul. Not for the  short time you think you have. My emotions are running wild. my thoughts not even making sense. I can't imagine how you feel but I know how I feel. I know that even if this hurts you more then me it still hurts me. It still makes me feel helpless, that there's nothing I can do. I've tried to be your backbone & to help you get through these hard times but I know that I cant keep doing it if you dont help yourself. I love you now and always but its getting harder each day. I don't want to lose you. not to drugs, not to bipolar, not to suicide. please stay with me and let me walk you through this and hold your hand and let you know youre not alone.

I love you