Just some thoughts

Yesterday was pretty bad.  I had reached a point, like I have many times before, where I contemplated my existence and purpose.

No thoughts of suicide or anything like that but I can totallyunderstand how Lyme could drive someone to it.

I will never blame someone for trying to end their suffering.

Unexpectedly, today turned out to be a really good day. 

I checked the mail and had received a Christmas card from my best guy friend whom I have known since Middle School

He knows what I'm going through and gives me my space but the fact that he reached out to me with words of concern for my health in the card stopped me in my tracks. 

After a while you start to question your friends faithfulness  and usually the answers you conjure up are wrong. 

I then went out and got my hair cut, which I had not done in 6 months or for those who know, since my band broke up. 

Great morale booster.

While waiting for my haircut, I carried on a conversion with an elderly woman who wanted me to help her test her hearing aid.  That alone was worth the trip.

Since I was feeling pretty good, I then decided to grab some more young coconuts at Whole Foods to make some more coconut yogurt.

At Whole Foods I ended up running in to a friend who is also an employee and he asked how things were going.

I haven't told too many people of my diagnosis but I ended up telling my him.

He totally understood and had mentioned that a girl in my graduating class from high school 2006, also had it.

I never talked to the girl but I knew of her and in a sense felt compelled to reach out to her.

My friend has also asked how my band was doing and I told him that we disbanded.  I think he already knew but I don't see him that often so we forget what we talk about previously.

Anyways, he had mentioned that he recently picked up the drums and wanted to jam with me tomorrow.

I haven't played with anyone in quite sometime but I told him I would surely be there if I was feeling up too it.

How quickly we create a purpose for ourselves despite being lead to question our own existence.