Just For Today

Me and my husband have been through a lot together in the last couple years of our marriage and bofore then. We have always seen our ways through all of it with a smile on our face. I love him so much.

This last month has been a huge rollercoaster that I just wish I could jump off of and I know I can't, because of our daughter. I got strep throat. That same day my husband broke his foot. So while I was sick I had to take care of him. The weekend after I found out that I had strep throat and taking care of my husband every whimper. My sister went in to labor. I was at the hospital from Sat morning. The whole way up to Monday morning. It was long and exhausting. The moment I got out of the hospital I had to take my husband to see his Surgeon about his knee surgery that he was going to get done that same wednesday. So yeah Wednesday we had to go to his surgery. The week after that my Grandma who I am extremely close to passed away. She rasied me from the time I was 9.

You really get to know who your true friends are when something like a family member passing way. So I am still trying to get over the fact that my Grandmother has passed along with people on my ass about solving there problems and helping them get over whatever is wrong with them. I just find them really selfish.

During this time my husband has been extremely selfish as well. He as been drinking a lot. The whole way through the weekend from Friday morning when we found out about my grandmother passing he has slept and drank. So I delt with this all on my own.

Today I just feel really tired and kinda low. My husband wants to know what is wrong with me. It is extremely hard to tell someone how you are feeling when they are screaming at you. He also told me he is joking around, but I don't find this at all as joking, but he has said that if I woke him up one more time this last weekend he was going to strangle me. He also said in a chat with his one friend that he want to kill me.

I just really don't know what else to do I really don't. I feel like we need sometime apart, but he isn't able to drive so when I try to get out of the house he ends up fallowing me. I tell him I just wanted to get some time alone and he guilts me into having him fallowing me. I just feel so down and lost.

I know a lot of it has to be the fact we are together now 24/7, but everything I do for him he just doesn't appriciate it. He NEVER says thank you to me for making him breakfast in bed almost every day. I clean up after him and do his laundry. He doesn't care or even try to help. He is moving around a lot better then a week ago. He doesn't use anything to help himself to walk. So if he is off work for another month and after the month have to go to physical therapy before going to work. Why can't he help me out? I can't even talk to him about it. He agrees and shakes his head yes, but then he won't put his agreement into effect.

Oh I am also sick of him yelling at me and lying to me.