The world won last night, along with Obama and Biden. To our members in countries other than the US, I hope you will be able to breathe more easily now, and to alter those opinions of Americans that haveformed over the past eight years. I hope everyone's economic status will improve, now that we won't be pouring our tax dollars into wars that shouldn't be fought, nor forcing our allies to do the same, all in the interest of making the rich richer.

To the Americans who voted for peace, restoration of our civil rights, and the protection of our environment, thank you.

To those who somehow wanted more of the same, I believe you will benefit along with the rest of us. God has already blessed Americans. Blessings on the entire planet, and all the creatures who live here.

Christine

Yesterday we celebrated Lauren's 16th. We began the day with Paintball. I was a trooper and didn't mention how heavy the gun felt to these arms, or what my legs felt like, sneaking up hillsin the woods.

I'll probably pay for it today, but I'm so glad I didn't miss it.

 

I may have posted this twice, but at present the first post isn't showing.

 

I recently heard that cold weather might trigger FM pain. It's currently 49 degrees here, which I consider frigidly and fatally cold, and I am totally hurting. I guess I might need to move back toPhoenix, if Texas is going to throw weather like this at me. Ouch.

I really hate my arms and hands going numb, especially when I want to draw or study.

At least nobody is trying to hang me from the ceiling to fix it. When I think how many hours I spentin that useless traction, which only made it worse!

I think the problem is, my head is sitting on my neck.  

 

The tiny one is Willow Gretchen Martine Carrington-Frey.

Her sisters and brothers (Ian isn't in the picture) are:

Lauren, Aidan and Ian

Caroline, Rosie, Lily and Maggie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lauren, Caroline, Rosie, Lily, Maggie, Aidan, and dad in the window.

I haven't been around for a few weeks. Our baby, Willow Gretchen Martine Carrington-Frey, has been born, and I've been playing grandmommy, cooking for the family and keeping the kids organizedwhile Sarina rests - as much as her nature will allow at any rate. I was present for the birth, and Sarina and I have had a chance to grow even closer. I'm so pleased with my new daughter and my new family.

Now and then I need a little time to rest, myself, but mostly I've been right there in the midst of this big, loving, happy group. Who but I would be lucky enough to have such people join my family. We all sing Broadway songs, and know all the words. We discuss the most arcane and occult philosophies, and are sticklers for good grammar and educated opinions. We are tolerant of others, and strongly liberal in all our points of view. These people are made to order for me, and I hope I am as satisfying to them. I love my new granddaughters - all five of them! 

This is my new daughter, Sarina.  Already pregnant when this was taken, but only showing a little.

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I woke up, after sleeping soundly all night in my wonderful waterbed, I was getting another Monster Headache. I took a Vicodin, but I'm still achy all over, and I know the headache is in there, waiting for the pill to wear off. My head feels like it's stuffed with hard cotton. It's totally clear that the FM symptoms respond to stress. 

I got most of the stuff I want to take to Dallas into a suitcase. Art supplies, my Spanish books, some family photos. I'll take a wardrobe to California and leave it there, and take the suitcase when I fly to Dallas. It was actually pretty easy to decide what to take, since I only get 50 pounds and the most essential stuff took all the weight allowance.

My sister phoned from Florida. She has Mother this morning. They are driving around looking at the flood waters. Mother, of course, ordered me to come to see her immediately. She began the conversation with, "Do you remember me?" Having lived with her manipulation all my life, I feel a pull when I'm disobeying, but I stay away from them and don't have much contact with them. When I am in touch with them, I am often sick for days.

Dieter and I saw the doctor this morning. Only he had an appointment, but we always go together, so the doc's wife, who was manning the phones, said "That's okay. We wouldn't want to split them up."

I told Dr. G that I'll be away from Phoenix for three months, and I don't want a new doctor in Dallas. It says a lot about his faith in me as a person (really, why shouldn't he trust me?) that he gave me several hundred Vicodin and even more Xanax, to last through that time, with refills for the same amount. I guess he knows, if I were going to abuse my meds, I'd have started before now.

The Monster Headache paid me a visit this morning, along with the Hurts All Over, and my hip was nagging at me too, so it wasn't a great morning, but this afternoon I am much better. I took a Vicodin this AM, so I could get dressed and to the dr. appt.

Dieter and I are trying not to think about the dogs, since we can't do anything about them anyway. We have to trust Dennis to take care of them while I'm gone. Actually, it's great not to have to step/fall over them, clean up after them, walk them and pull my arms off, chase Kiesha all over the neighborhood, etc. I'll resume her obedience classes when I get back to Dallas, Sept 21.

We made it home at about 1:00. Not a wonderful trip. The Vicodin only went about halfway to relieving discomfort today, and now I'm hurting again, what I call the Full Body Ache.

KnowingI'm unlikely to come back to the Phoenix house again for at least a year is sad, and stressful. The automatic watering and the pool and yard guys kept things nice outside. Inside, the dust reminds me this is supposed to be a desert, not a paradise. I love it here. The air is hot, the pool is warm, the bougainvilla is gorgeous.

I found a card stuck in the door, somebody to help with housework. I'm only here for three days this time, so maybe I could get somebody to dust tomorrow. Dieter says it will just be dusty again when I come back. Using that argument, I'd never make my bed or take a bath. I'll just have to do it again tomorrow.

We don't want to buy groceries, so I think we're going to Pappadeau's for dinner. Travelling with Dieter is dangerous to my figure. To him, the food is the important thing.

First, another Vicodin, to try to get rid of the headache and the body pain. Then, a good night's sleep in my wonderous waterbed. I should enjoy it while I can.

What a way to start a long trip. I picked up the stomach flu that my family has been sharing, threw up for 24 hours, so I couldn't take my meds last yesterday or this morning, because they wouldjust upset my stomach again.

So at 6 AM, cranky as an old Ford, I got in the car and tried to find a position that was less than miserable. Stomach still had a boulder in it, and then EVERYTHING started hurting. Feet, hip radiating down legs, arms, hands. Headache. Just one big lump of I HURT.

About 10:00 the nausea was really fading, and I took a Vicodin. God Bless Vicodin. I made it to Los Cruces, New Mexico. Tomorrow we'll be in Phoenix. I have an appointment with my doctor Friday at 9:00 AM.

Saturday it's on to San Diego, San Clemente, etc. to find an apartment. Then back to Phoenix, and fly back to Dallas on the 21st.

Dennis is supposedly watching the dogs. I hope he put them into the garage, and didn't leave them in the family room. He walked them no later than 3, and won't be back there again until 10 AM tomorrow. My poor carpets. My poor back, if I have to shampoo everything.

Oh, right - my poor dogs.

Yesterday my arms were so sore, aching as if I had flu, and I felt so tired. My hip is hurting badly, too. I took my 5-HTP, as usual, but also had to take a Vicodin so I could do the shopping. Even then, my husband had to push the cart.

So today was also not really a great day, either, and I was tired. I can tell myself this is just phantom pain, but so what? It hurts anyway. At least I'm sleeping well, and not having my monster headaches. That's worth a lot.

Today Dieter comes home, but only for a few days. We've decided that he will travel on to Phoenix and San Diego without me this time. I hate the long separations, and wish he would retire soon. But there is too much going on here in Texas, with the baby coming and all the new family to get to know. And there are so many practical reasons why my going with him this time is not the best thing to do. The dogs would pretty much have to live in a kennel for long stretches.

I have some joint and general ache problems, especially in the morning, but for the most part I feel great and I'm able to get things done. I've enrolled Kiesha in an obedience class. Her pulling on me and running away have taken me to the limit of my coping ability. We're on first name basis with the animal control and police people now. They have chased her home for me twice this week. This cannot continue. Her luck will run out one day.

Yesterday I noticed that her dew claw had grown around in a circle. I took her to the vet (after Michelle, the animal control patrol officer had located her for me yet again) and it was fixed. She is on pain pills and antibiotics. $58. The vet in Phoenix was against removing the dew claw, but this one says, since it is continuously causing her problems, it should go.

I'm wondering - elective surgery for Kiesha or a face lift for me? All the stress she is putting me through is making me old, so maybe they'd both have the same result. 

 

 

 The kids were here yesterday. I enjoyed them. I finished another drawing and walked the dogs. Today I'm tired, and my hips and hands hurt, but I'm really doing very well.

I have to give full credit to the 5-HTP. The skin ache - gone. Joint pain - greatly reduced. Headaches - almost none. Fatigue - really reduced. I can't believe this. It's like the first time inyears that I feel like a normal, healthy person.

The title pretty much says it all. I take seven or eight Pericolace a day. Cutting back to five or six, or even seven for more than a few days, means I get jammed up, and then I'm in for a bad day. I hate this.

My cousin said I should add fiber to my diet. I put half a cup of bran on top of my food, drink until I'm in danger of water intoxication, top it off with a bottle of prune juice, walk the dogs twice a day, etc etc. So anyway, thanks to cuz for that tip, and I'm glad it works for her.

I can hear where my colon goes into spasm. It's on the right, and that's also where I get the worst cramps. I have Amitista, which gets rid of the cramps really well, but still, when I let myself get constipated, it's going to mean a day of being, you'll pardon the expression, wrung out.

I didn't know IBS was part of the fibromyalgia package. Dr. Woodsomething's lecture touched on the reason. I thought IBS was my Chief Complaint. I sleep a lot on bad IBS days. 

 

I took a nap, and woke up with deep awful pain in my arms and hips, but it went away after I got up and moved around. I hate getting so tired I have to take a nap, because I know I'll wake up hurting, but that's kind of the norm, at least half the time.

Here is my latest drawing. I can't believe I feel good enough to get out art supplies and sit at it long enough to accomplish something. It's been a while!

Just now, the double-click worked, but my mouse is probably rabid. My husband told me to go over to Circuit City and pick out a new laptop. I might, but it's such a hassle to load stuff onto a new computer, and then you have all that garbage they stick on them, too, to get rid of.

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks to Irish11, I know how to upload pictures now. This is my grandbaby-to-be. Isn't it amazing. Not even born, and her face can be seen all around the world.

Unfortunately, since my mouse isn't speaking to my computer, I can't quite manage to insert the image. I only copy/pasted a copy of the thumbnail, so we'll see how this works.

I'm definitely feeling better since starting the 5-HTP. I do have a vague, all-over ache and fatigue, but nothing like what I was having. Friday I had pain on the right side of my face, pretty bad, and also hip pain. Most everything I have is on the right side, so I was surprised that this time it was my left hip that was shooting darts down my leg.

Anyway, I just want to write that, thank God, I have very little to write about.

I'm still having good days, and I'm beginning to think the 5HTP must be responsible, because it's the only thing I've changed. I haven't seen anybody else write about this. But the aching is definitely less. I had pain on the right side of my face on Wednesday, but that's all. I've been drawing dragons, and the fact that I had energy to get out art supplies and enthusiasm enough to make drawings must mean I feel better than I was.

 

Dieter left this afternoon for Maryland. He'll be gone about 3 weeks, and then the real upheavals and changes will begin. It's hard for me to cope, with him gone.

Of course I got losttrying to get home from the airport. Took a nap, and I'd like to get in the pool - it's in the 100's today - but I'm not feeling very energetic right now. As if floating around in the pool took a lot of energy. 

 

Yesterday I could feel the migraine trying to come back and clobber me, but I held the thing off, and today I feel really fine. Dieter and I went to Garden Ridge and bought a few miscellaneous things for the house. He's watching the Bruce Willis Marathon. I'm going to do some drawing.

Couldn't sleep last night, thinking about how to handle demands from a person who seems to think she can manipulate me to do what she says, or be guilty. Yuck. Headache came on, and it's a big one. Vicodin makes it enough better that I can sit here and move my fingers to handle email and stuff.

I'm showered, dressed, ready to do the day.

A lot of people have posted about noise this morning. I can echo much of what they have said. The "music" in the grocery store sends me up the wall - or out the door, if I don't really need much. By the time I reach the cashier, I'm often so shaken, I can barely function.

My husband has a habit of walking in, and going HUH! The sound is like an electric shock going through my body. I've told him so many times not to do it, that it actually hurts, but of course he can't understand it. It's gotten to the point that, when I hear him coming, I cringe.

 

I've been saying it for several years: I just hurt all over. The thing is, there's nothing wrong with me, at least that could be identified in bloodwork or x-rays. I finally heard of fibromyalgiaand looked it up on the Internet.

I sure seem to qualify. I'll list the symptoms later. I've let my husband in on the secret, and he hasn't sneered, "You always feel bad," even once in the last week. He even looked up treatments and ordered a year's supply of 5-HTP. This stuff seems to help. At least I've had more good hours than bad ones, and several really good days. The side-effects all seem to be good ones. I'm taking 300 mg/day, in 3 divided doses.

But I still hurt all over, and get so tired I have to lie down for a while.

Symptoms I Can Call My Own:

1. migraines and other headaches, usually on the right, front side of my head. 

2. Feeling low. Not depressed exactly, but just low and a bit anxious.

3. Pain on the right side of my face and neck. A burning spot at the back of, and just below, my neck. I actually put an ice pack on this, but thought it was too crazy to mention to anybody. I've had it for about a year.

4. IBS. I thought this was my chief complaint. Turns out, it's just part of the cluster. I mostly have cramps on the right side of my abdomen.

5. All-over achiness, like having the flu.

6. Feeling totally tired and sort of sick.

7. It hurts to put weight on my feet, especially in the morning. It hurts to pick up something or unscrew a jar. I don't have any bone issues to account for this, no arthritis or osteoporosis.

8. I hate to wake up because it hurts horribly in the first few seconds. Then this pain starts to fade, but it's bad enough to really dread when I feel myself start to wake up.

As healthy as I am, I should feel good, and not like an invalid. It's not fun.