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MDJunction to me

Macv"For me, MDjunction has been a place where I can share my experiences
living with the very rare bone disease called Ollier's ( Enchondromatosis ) with the parents of children recently diagnosed. I can help them not to run
into the pitfalls my parents did when I was young, give them a bit of a view
from their child's perspective and simply be there to offer support and
hope to people who are scared and just had their lives upended. I also belong to a chronic pain group and it's been a Godsend to be able to actually
talk with others who understand what I'm dealing with. Besides them helping me through my tough times, I can be there to help them as well. Here too, I can use my years of experience to help others avoid pitfalls and it makes me feel good, gives my life more purpose. MDjunction brings people
together when their suffering, at their darkest and feeling alone in this world and allows some light to be brought back into their lives. HOPE, that's what
MDjunction means to me!
Linda aka Macv
" (Macv)

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jstsIm courage and discovery
















jstsIm diary feed


What To Do?

Apr 18 2012

I come here every day, to read what others write, sometimes I respond. Sometimes I just come here because I feel so detatched and alone, that I cant stand the emptyness I feel.

Sometimes, liketoday, I wonder why I bother , there is no one there.  I write so I can release the pain and fear I feel, if only for a few minutes, because I know that it will be there, maybe with my next thought...

I don't know how to establish relationships. I don't know how to say or do the right things. I scare others away...It isn't their fault, I'm just not socialy adept....I have remained so isolated, that I have nothing but the bad things to share. Never the less, I am still trapped in the prison that my mind is making. Reaching out, brings reward and rejection, triumph and failure...a vicious cycle and one that seems never ending...I don't know where to start or where to end,



Previous diary posts by jstsIm:
Comments (7)Add Comment
written by damselndistress, April 18, 2012
I don't feel scared away Reba.
I'm scattered all over the place.
I read a little here and there and rarely comment.

Keep writing-it feels right to me.
written by Peace77, April 20, 2012
Ditto...to be honest Reba, and you know I am when I say I'm the same way right now. Can't feel I belong anywhere..but you have SPIRIT...everyone loves you...I do!!!
Patty
written by jstsIm, April 21, 2012
I feel alone, empty of heart and spirit. Like I don't exist at all. Only a shadow...
written by lken, April 22, 2012
is it the good shadow, i do not feel along when i write here, well sometimes when no one answers , there is not a loneness pill out yet. what exactly is a lonely feeling, i will have to post.
written by damselndistress, April 22, 2012
Yes exactly.
I feel like a shadow of a person.
Who am I?
Where am I?
I feel like in my real life I am surrounded by such strong personalities that mine gets squelched out.
Can anyone hear me?
Do I register on the radar?
What can I do to feel real like I exist?
Is this feeling what causes people to do violent crime acts?
So they can feel heard and like they exist even if it takes a violent vicious act for just one moment to make them feel as if they do have control over something.
So that people finally take notice that they exist?

written by lken, April 26, 2012
in my dreams my shadow person is a friend, if i can make friends with myself, i feel full and whole, i think going into the self is another adventure. you make me feel good in your comments. only a strong deep rooted person can reach out give like you do.
written by KittenMittens, April 26, 2012
Oh my sweet sweet Reba! You are seen and loved. smilies/grin.gif

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