| Feb 24 2008 |
Flew out from msp at 1:50 to head towards Indy and my sweetie. Am quite nervous as this is the first time we will see each other since I have been diagnosed with this dd. Also worried thatsitting in the airports and planes will make the pain skyrocket. Hopefully with my tens unit I should be ok. Flights went great and the reception I got was like it has always been, pure joy on his face. Friday was a long day of shopping and then setting up his new pc but all in all a truly good day. Saturday we had to get ready and go to the airport for a weekend getaway in Biloxi MS at the Grand. My tens unit is a trgodsend with sitting in planes and casinos and walking. Had a great time though. Ok woke up sunday with ankles twice their normal size. Pain levels are pretty status quo though thank you Lord. Long long day of site seeing, having some spa time and casino hopping that by 11 I was done and had to get my feet up. So I went to our room while he tried to get some of his money back. Monday morning you could not tell that I even had ankles and am unable to bend my toes, but still minimal pain. Flying back to Indy this afternoon then having steak dinner and then I have a few hours to myself as he has bowling. I enjoyed those hours by soaking in a lavender tub, my favorite form of relaxation. Had a nice rest of the night. Have to be at the airport by 11:30, really do not want to leave and go back to reality. Am very proud of me though did not cry just got misty. Ok now am back home and having to rise at 4:30 so that I can get mom to the hospital by 5:30 for her shoulder surgery. OMG doesnt any place have decent chairs?! Surgery went better then expected as doc was able to repair the rotator cuff instead of doing full shoulder replacement. Left for a few hours so Pa could rest and me too, went back early evening for a couple of hours. Thursday we were back at the hospital before noon waiting on dr to come and idcharge mom, finally at 2:30 we were told he was in surgery so I brought Pa home and went back, doc finally showed at 6 and gave us the option of another night or go home, duh easy selection, she is staying another night. Was back before noon on friday and had her in the car by 1:30. Now my work really begins. Get her home and icing down and I go to fill scripts. Get back and she is laying down so I go home for a couple hours est. Take dinner over and mom goes you are staying the night right? By this time I am an 8 on the pain scale and really do not want to sleep on her couch but cant say no. So after dinner is cleaned up I go home and get into jammies take meds and grab a couple of my pillows I go and settle her in for the night. She slept until 9 and then yells for my sister not me, cant explain why but that crushed me. Got her up and moving and gave her her meds then said I am going home to clean up. Her response you can clean up here. No mom need clothes and also need to take my own meds. Boy I pray I am not like her, she is so needy and whiney when sick or in pain. We have home health coming by 11 so get right back over there. The pt showed up and while he was there the nurse calls saying she is detained but will be there by 12:30. Well I guess she never learned how to tell time as she didnt show until 1:45. Worked with her then gave mom afternoon pain meds and left, saying i would not be back until night time meds as my aunt was bringing supper over. . She called asking if i wanted to come and eat with em, knew it was a ploy for me to come and reheat everything and clean up after. Said no thanks mom i ate already I will be there around 9 or so. Get there and she says first thing you were gone to long I just looked into kitchen and it was all cleaned up so know they can do for themselves just may take a little longer. went to check her sling and made her do some excersizes the pt gave her and she keeps tipping her head then blaming me for moving her shoulder, her no mom you are doing that by moving your head toward left shoulder. I must have giggled as she said it is not funny it hurts. Of course it hurts and welcome to my world on daily basis she states her pain is 5-6 then tell her mine is 8. That made her do her excersizes and take her pills which she didnt want either. Took 45 minutes to get her into bathroom to go and brush teeth and wash face but finally got her into bed with some more crying and whinning. of this is due to me not spending night for which there is no reason for me too. But got her as comfortable as I could and said call me when you get up in the morning and I will come and get you your meds and clean you up a bit. With all of this plus welfare messing with me I am fearing a major flare is on the gneds real soon. I cant flare, have this week to get her better as much as possible then on the 4th start all over with Joeys knee surgery. Dear Lord carry me through this all PLEASE!
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2. Hang in there. Being a caregiver is hard enough, but doing so when you're sick and in pain is so much harder. Try to get some healthy people, like your mom's friends, other relatives, etc. to help you. And keep standing up for yourself. If you don't take care of yourself in this difficult time, you'll end up completely useless to everyone. Although, in that case, you could turn the tables on your mom and demand that she come over to your house to take care of you.
3. I pray that God will keep you strong in your time of trial. I pray that your mom's shoulder heals quickly. I pray that Joey's knee surgery goes well, with no complications, and that his knee will heal quickly. I pray that God will surround you with friends and family to help you care for yourself and your loved ones. And I pray that God will help the doctors figure out what this lousy fibromyalgia stuff is and how to get rid of it!
Have a blessed day!
Heather