|Aug 07 2010|
So I got back to London a couple of days ago and it has been really pretty OK so far, thank goodness. I'm spending a few days here as I was starting to feel a little frustrated at my mum's and feared I was getting isolated. The plan had been to only return when I was asymptomatic...I've come to realise that's a rather overoptimistic target for 4 weeks of treatment. On my seroquel I would say I'm 50% better and able to 'function' increasingly well, though my racing thoughts still race-away and the hopelessness feelings of my depression still spike when I'm not distracted.
Such a positive experience so far though. Hung with my mental health nurse (and just generally lovely) housemate Leanne during the day. She's uber understanding but just as valuable as being able to talk to her relatably about my condition is also being able to talk/joke about stuff non-bipolar related! I feel like I've become a bit of a monoglot with this condition - which is understandable but I don't want my life to be 100% bipolar (directly or indirectly) 100% of the time.
Did a big rearrangement of my flat in a possibly hypomanic hour the other day and have that feeling of satisfaction from the external environment now being more coherent :) Going to an open air play with my friends tonight on the south bank of the Thames this evening then watching the new toy story on our projector later on (ahem...piracy alert!)
Will be taking my small dose of clonazepam before I go out, however, as I do tend to dip/get anxious in the evenings and so would like a bit of shoring-up for the whole thing.
Targets for being here:
- continue to do stuff 'round the flat to make it an increasingly nice place to live
- see friends/read books/watch films
- keep going to the gym/eating healthily and return to a stable weight (haha screw you bad-part-of-seroquel if I manage it!!!)
- MAYBE pop into work. I've asked my bosses by email if that would be appropriate but no response as yet. Feel a little apprehensive about how the news of my illness has gone down and feel they are 'coordinating' communication with me which makes me feel a little uncomfortably apart from it all :s But that's a story for another day!
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