I need to stop worrying about the future and blaming the past... |
May 10 2012 |
I think 2 of the things that fuel my anxiety is I am a worry wort. I worry about every single thing about the future, and it just drives me crazy. I am working on it, but it is not going to take over night to fix. I also need to accept that my past was not the greatest, I had a father who was never there for me and a mentally unstable mother, yes this contributed to my anxiety, but I can either relive it for the rest of my live or accept it and put it in the past . I have forgiven my mother in a letter for what she did to me as a child, and no longer have contact with her, and I need to do the same for my father. I need to heal myself to get over this and get strong enough to fight it. Cheryl.V
Things I love about me.
figured out in therapy I have been anxious and hav...
My improvements from last year.
What is holding me back????
I hate , hate not being able to do normal things!!
figured out in therapy I have been anxious and hav...
My improvements from last year.
What is holding me back????
I hate , hate not being able to do normal things!!
The heat is coming and I don't look forward to it.
Sometimes I think death would be better than the c...
Not a bad day so far........
Jealous and not giving up;
I know what I am feeling is not real, but my braii...
Sometimes I think death would be better than the c...
Not a bad day so far........
Jealous and not giving up;
I know what I am feeling is not real, but my braii...
Comments (2)
When I think about all the things my parents did in my life and my brothers life I do get mad and blame but I also tell myself that they were raised differently then how we have raised our kids...My father was a military child 
my mother was the daughter of a physically abused woman who thought she couldn't survive with out her abuser so needless to say my dad was a prick(understatement) and my mom was in abusive relationships ,had low self eesteem was in crisis mode and depressed severely especially since she was disabled trying to raise two children...she slept for a large portion of our lives...I have learned to take that experience in and just not be like this with my son...I make it my mission to not let him experience what I have.....It's easier to build up a child then it is to fix an adult....as muchas we want to blame them for what we have had to fix it really does us no good but remind us of the hurt and pain we have had in our life... I know it's so hard to let go,my god is it hard but you can do it
Send that letter , let him know what he missed out on and how he failed you...He was supposed to have your back,he brought you here then left you to fend for yourself and have to deal with your mom alone....Take that and everything you have learned and just rain love and compassion on your own child
my mother was the daughter of a physically abused woman who thought she couldn't survive with out her abuser so needless to say my dad was a prick(understatement) and my mom was in abusive relationships ,had low self eesteem was in crisis mode and depressed severely especially since she was disabled trying to raise two children...she slept for a large portion of our lives...I have learned to take that experience in and just not be like this with my son...I make it my mission to not let him experience what I have.....It's easier to build up a child then it is to fix an adult....as muchas we want to blame them for what we have had to fix it really does us no good but remind us of the hurt and pain we have had in our life... I know it's so hard to let go,my god is it hard but you can do it Send that letter , let him know what he missed out on and how he failed you...He was supposed to have your back,he brought you here then left you to fend for yourself and have to deal with your mom alone....Take that and everything you have learned and just rain love and compassion on your own child Leave a comment
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It doesn't help at all to blame but it becomes a vicious cycle.
The dad that wasn't there I can relate to that because my husband is a runner. That puts more stress on me and causes me to be more unstable if you would call it that or weak. Then probably the way I am makes him not want to hang around.
It becomes a vicious cycle and gets worse and worse-the more they are gone the more we have to bear.
I am trying to pull it together for my kids and do my part.
I can't change him.
I sometimes feel I am operating at a 40% capacity.
Well if I can fight and make that 45% I am gonna try for my kids.
That will be another 5% deficit they don't have to live with.