MDJunction - People Helping People

Why wear a ribbon?

  "I have been a victim of and am married to a victim of DV, also I have ADD." (Corelulos)

MDJunction to me

mitzigirl"MDJunction has meant opening up new doors to give help and friendship
and certainly I have receive more than I have ever given. These people
here are my friends and some even my family. I am here all the time
this is my outlet to the world and people helping people just like
when my insurance was taken. Everyone came to my aide. I am so
grateful for MDJunction!
" (mitzigirl)

MDJunction testimonials

Journey from diagnosis, treatment & recovery

The Emotional, Spiritual and Physical Impact of Prostate Cancer

The Power of Words to Encourage or Discourage

Mar 01 2014
This weekend I heard from someone who read my article titled "Life Lessons on Coping with Cancer" "
Here's what he said: Inspirational and very well written. Thanks for sharing Rick!

Then I heard this from a man who read my book: I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where's Yours? He said:" I found that no detail was omitted in any of the 42 chapters of t...

Coping With Cancer Tips

Jan 26 2014

1. Don’t Rush Into Treatment- By the time a man is old enough to receive a diagnosis of prostate cancer, the odds are he’s known friends and/for family who died as a result of cancer. Past experiences, assumptions about cancer, and fear rather than specifics of their diagnosis often drive men to chose unnecessary aggressive treatment options. A diagnosis of prostate cancer does m...

Libido Near Zero 2.5 Years Following Surgery

Jan 04 2014

Before surgery at age 58 I considered myself highly interested in sex. On  a 1-10 scale I've rate myself at 9.5  Now I'd rate myself between 0-1.

I researched the Internet looking for answers. What I discovered is approximately 50% of men post surgery experience a dramatic loss in the desire for sex. The question that wasn't answered was the cause and a cure for this...

"Suspicious Lump" found 3 years ago

Dec 16 2013

Three years ago today I went to my Urologist for a routine prescription re-fill. He insisted on performing a DRE even though I had one eight months prior. During the exam he felt a "suspicious lump". Today on this anniversary the following article featuring my wife and me appeared in our local newspaper the Modesto Bee:

Revisiting The FateFul Day Plus Three Years After

Dec 10 2013
WestBow Press gave me the opportunity to write the following on their website:
Disruptive moments are what Gordon MacDonald, author of The Life God Blesses, describes as an unpleasant slice of life . Disruptive moments frequently occur in the context of what begins as a routine day. Suddenly and unexpectedly, something happens that brings about an unwanted, unwelcome, and sometimes catastroph...

Thousands Of Page Views Per/Month

Oct 30 2013

It feels as though I've come first circle. When I first began this diary I was frightened beyond any fear I've known before. Emotionally I was wreck, and I had to make one of the most important decisions of my life, which was how to treat my prostate cancer. Looking back, my fear of cancer caused me to rush into treatment before I could truly base my decision on my diagnosis rather than...

Attention all Men Living without a prostate

Sep 18 2013

I'm attempting to gather information about how men feel about their life without a prostate. I'm asking men who read this to participate in 6 polls that I have posted on my forums. 

So far I was surprised to learn that only 54% of the men who'd had surgery would chose this option again, knowing what they know today.

I have 2 goals right now: #1. Educate men so they...

My Book about Prostate Cancer Won its 3rd Award

Sep 01 2013

Last night I receive notice that I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where's Yours was a Gold Medal Winner in Readers' Favorite Book Review & Awards Contest. Here's the link:

It's my prayer the book and my Pre and Post Surgery Forums will help men and couples avoid many of pitfal...

28 Months Post Surgery-No Nightime Erections but......

Jul 19 2013

At 28 months post surgery I certainly expected to be ahead of where I was pre-surgery since I am using ED medication. This week I got so frustrated with erections being a hit and miss, and the total absence of nighttime erections I did something I'm not supposed to do. I took both Cialis 5mg and Levitra 10mg at the same time.

The good news was this combination worked. I achieved a usa...

Talking to Children, Grandchildren & Adult Children about PC

Jul 17 2013

I started a thread on my post-surgery forum with helpful links regarding talking to children about PC.   If you want to read the links or share your experiences paste this link into your browser:                                      &...

Who Said I Was A Failure & Should I Believe Them?

Jun 27 2013

As I was training for my Masters...

Life Lessons Learned From Training a Puppy

Jun 15 2013
Toby was 7 months old when he came into our home and our lives. The woman who previously had Toby during a critical time in his developmental life was diagnosed with cancer. It’s unlikely she was well enough to spend time socializing Toby with other dogs or exposing him to a variety of new situations, places, and new people. She returned him to the pet shop at 6 months of age because she wa...

How/Why Did PC Affect My Decison to Get a Puppy

Jun 05 2013

 On 6/4/13 My wife andI did something that defied logic. Let me re-phrase that. We used heart logic rather than head logic. On 6/3/13 we visited a pet store that sells puppies. We weren't in the market for a puppy we just wanted to see the breeds they were selling.

Ready to quit or give up? Read this before you do.

May 25 2013

Here's a copy of a blog I wrote on 5/25/13 

Have you ever wondered- What’s the difference between someone who is successful and someone who isn’t?

What personality trait enabled Abraham Lincoln amount to anything when he had this list of failures:
Lost job, 1832,Defeated for legislature, 1832, Failed in business, 1833,Sweetheart (Ann Rutledge) died,...

From frightened patient to an award winning author

May 22 2013
When I began this journey almost 3 years ago, I knew I was writing a diary that I hoped would help people. Years later much of my diary as well as new material was published in a book titled:

I Left My Prostate in San Francsico-Where's Yours? Coping With The Emotional, Relational, Sexual & Spiritual Aspects of Prostate Cancer

In the last few months my book received two awards...

A Cure for Da Vinci Surgery Buyer's Remorse

May 07 2013

I've known more than a few men who seriously regretted the decision to have surgery. They live their lives with unhealthy regret, believing prostate surgery ruined their life forever. If given the opportunity for a re-do they would say: I'd skip the surgery and let the cancer run it's course. 

David didn't have a choice. He died from complications due to prostate canc...

10 Decisions Which Permit Prostate Cancer to Destroy Your Life

Apr 19 2013
1. Believe your cancer was a matter of fate, bad luck, or being dealt a bad hand. Assume nothing positive can come from your experience with prostate cancer.
2. Live selfishly. Have an affair, dump your partner and/or the rest of your family in pursuit of your own pleasure.
3. Live fearfully. Spend hours obsessing about cancer in your waking hours, and loose sleep at night as you imagin...

A book review of I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where's Yours?

Apr 08 2013

I left my Prostate in San Francisco—Where’s Yours? is by no means a ringing endorsement for robotic prostate surgery. However, it is a candid and courageous explanation of what patients—and couples—should expect in the months preceding and following this procedure. Through an autobiographical acco...

Pre and Post Prostate Surgery Support Forums E-book give a way

Apr 07 2013

After spending 3 years on various on-line prostate cancer support forums,  I've created and updated two new forums.  A pre-prostate surgery support forum link is here:                      

The Post Surgery support forum link is here:   &nbs...

2 Years After Surgery, The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

Mar 13 2013

I'm approaching my 2 year post-surgery date.                                                   The Good- My PSA remains undetectable.      

The Bad- On occasion I'll still leak urine. A sneeze, cough, bending. having sex. If my bladder is not...

Daily Cialis Helping some of the time

Mar 04 2013

I was hoping a daily dose of Cialis would improve erectile functioning and result in my experiencing some night time erections. I did for a few days, and then they stopped completely. 

After another week I have to add this update-2 night time erections in a week. Since they last until I go to the bathroom, venous leak is not going to be an issue, and that is great news. The healing p...

Began a faith based Pre and Post Surgery Forum

Mar 01 2013
I began a forum which was not user friendly, so today I linked an new forum for men and families who are pre and post prostate surgery. The link to the pre-surgery forum is:

The link for the post surgery forum is:                                       &nb...

Erectile Dysfunction helped by daily dosing

Feb 26 2013

An illness stopped my experiment with taking Cialis every day. Now that I have a few consecutive days in, I'm beginning to experience some night-time erections. This means 2 things:

1. My nerve bundles are beginning to heal.                                               &...

I Left My Prostate in San Francisco now available in ibooks+ another review

Feb 23 2013

This week I just found out that Apple has accepted my book in ibooks. They permit a free download of the first 2 chapters to read. The price is the same as the Kindle price $2.99

A man newly diagnosed with prostate cancer wrote this on Amazon about our book:

Rick and Brenda have put together a lot of information useful to those of us dealing with prostate cancer. Questions to ask, a...

Experiment with Cialis postponed-Something important learned

Feb 22 2013

I had a full week of taking Cialis daily. During that week I had two partial night-time erections. Unfortunately I came down with a stomach flu and stopped taking my meds.  So far I've learned this: no Cialis, no night time erections.  Taking Cialis, some night time time erections. For that reason alone it's worth continuing a daily dose. If I see an improvement in the day tim...

I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where's Yours? Book Reviews

Feb 19 2013

Here are some of the comments we've received about our book:

Trying a new way to fight ED 23 months post-surgery

Feb 11 2013

23 months after surgery I find I am not having any night-time erections. Using 10 or 20mg of Levitra is hit and miss. Since I only get 8 pills per month, I found for the same price I can get thirty  2.5 mg of Cialis.

I want to find out if taking a smaller dose of medication on a daily basis would make a difference.  If anyone else has tried this I'd like to hear from them.

Making a faith-based website

Jan 26 2013

Today I realized that my website looked no different than any other website and I found that disturbing. So today I was inspired to place a relevant verse from the Bible on every page.

I did that for  very specific reasons. First I wanted to share and demonstrate my faith, but there was a second and much more important reason to do this.

Through those bible verses God's wor...

I Left My Prostate in San Francisco is now available on line

Jan 25 2013

After 2 years of sharing my story on-line, my book which was co-authored with my wife is now available. We take the reader through the digital exam when a lump was found, through the biopsy, surgery and through 19 months of post-surgical adjustment. We share intimately about our emotional, relational, sexual and faith struggles in order to help couples process all the changes that occur as a re...

Release date weeks away

Jan 20 2013

After 2 years of writing, I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where's Yours? Will be available in 2-3 weeks. The book covers the journey my wife & I had from the digital exam where a lump was discovered through 19 months post surgery. If someone you know is considering surgery our book will prepare the reader for essential issues like pain control after surgery, why a single day in the...

Proposed Press Release for I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where's Yours?

Dec 20 2012

It looks like this will be the press release for our new book, which I hope will hit the shelves some time in Feb.

‘I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where’s Yours?’ tackles the subject of prostate cancer with faith, humor and wisdom.

New book reveals what prostate cancer patients need to know before choosing surgery.

MODESTO, Calif. – At...

An update on I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where's Yours?

Nov 09 2012

When my wife and I finished the book, I realized, that I make so many mistakes with grammar and leaving words out of sentences, we couldn't skip and expensive editorial process. So we paid to havethe book edited.

When we went over the edited version, we found close to 100 mistakes the editors missed. I sent them the sample list of mistakes, and they agreed to re-edit the book.  H...

The Journey continues in other places

Sep 10 2012

When I began this diary I was terrified after my urologist discovered a "suspicious lump" which is where my journey with PC began.

Now I'm using different formats to reach out to  men recently diagnosed, men and their partners who need support after surgery. 

Instead of a diary,  I started a blog. The site is:

My website is launched

Sep 02 2012

When I began this diary I was terrified. The word cancer brings up very frightening images to my mind. If someone would have told me I would be writing a book and creating a website for men choosing  surgery, I would told you that you were out of your mind. 

It isn't simply a function of the passage of time that makes things better. Time can make things worse. 17 months afte...

A surprise sign of healing

Aug 24 2012

Yesterday almost 17 months post surgery, I decided to risk going to work without wearing a pad. My commute to work is under 5 minutes. I used the bathroom right before heading out in order to emptymy bladder.

When I reached the parking lot I got out of my car. I didn't take 2 steps before is suddenly and unexpectedly sneezed. Immediately I felt myself leak. I went to the bathroom and...

Woefully Unprepared

Aug 16 2012

At 17th month post surgery, I have to say looking back I was totally unprepared to go through this post surgical journey. From the first night in the hospital to the present, nothing turned out the way I expected, with one BIG exception. I was cured of PC. For that I'm thankful!!

I'm wondering if those who read this would please answer the following question:

After Surg...

16 months later I'm ready for a new song

Jul 21 2012

We often have songs that remind us of specific times in our lives. I didn't realize it until last night that my theme song since surgery came from a Beatle song titled "Yesterday" Here's been my theme song for 16 months:

Suddenly I’m not half the man I used to be,
There’s a shadow hanging over me. Oh yesterday came suddenly.


Forever healed

Jul 09 2012

Surgery cured me of prostate cancer, and for that I'm grateful. However, I'm still terminal. If you are reading this, so are you. Everyone is going to die some how, whether it be through illness,   injury, accident, disease or old age.

I'm surprised that so many people don't believe the things Jesus said and promised.  What I found most offensive until I believed...

It took 15 months before I could laugh about Erectile Dysfunction

Jun 18 2012

15 months after prostate surgery I'm still dealing with Erectile Dysfunction. I'd hoped penile injections would worked until my erectile abilities returned, but they didn't. 

SometimesI have a response with ED medication, sometimes I  don't. I haven't had a night time erection in more than a month.  This is one post surgical symptom, I've taken so serio...

Re-do's dont' come often, but when they do.....

Jun 11 2012

One of my biggest regrets following my dx of PC, was that I didn't use the time between my biopsy and surgery to go away and create great memories with my wife. 

Currently I'm waitingfor a biopsy and surgery for a lesion that could be skin cancer. However before surgery I decided to take my wife for a trip to  Pacific Grove. We've had a great time. We've been ble...

And another Biopsy-This time for skin cancer

Jun 05 2012

When I went for my yearly physical, my Dr discovered a large spot inside my ear. He referred me to a Dermatologist. He said this spot which developed in my ear suddenly had to surgically removed. ;

Due to it's location, I'd need a plastic surgeon to remove the spot and put a skin graft in my ear.

Before performing surgery, the plastic surgeon wanted to perform a biopsy....

Men die from being stubborn

Jun 02 2012
When I was first dx with PC I made a promise to my wife. That promise was to seek any treatment available which would maximize our time together. So when I chose surgery I was willing to risk life long issues with urinary control, as well as 2 years or more with erectile dysfunction in order to be healed from PC. 

There is a disease that kills thousands of men a year, but no o...

Why is waiting always so difficult

May 28 2012

For the 2nd time in less than a month I find myself waiting for an appointment to see whether I have skin cancer. Prior to this it was whether I had colon cancer, and prior to that, the discovery Ihad prostate cancer.

I don't know whether waiting itself is difficult or my ability to wait is the issue. I hated waiting for my prostate biopsy, I hated waiting for the results, I hated wai...

Another exam, another biopsy in a place I never expected

May 24 2012

Today I went for my yearly physical. The Dr began by looking in my ear. Immediately he noticed a growth on the outside portion of my ear. He told me I need to make an appointment to see a dermatologist.

When I got home and told this to my wife (who is an RN) she was upset to hear about this. I had no idea why. I was thinking I had a wart or something like that.

My wife informed me I...

It wasn't cancer

May 11 2012
What a relief!!  Rather than have my next colonsocopy in 10 years, I have to have my next one in 5 years. That's it. I'm done. Next stop Disneyland...

Biospy Resutls Today

May 11 2012

It's been a long 2 weeks. In 7 hours I find out if I have colon cancer. I've had a few fearful moments, but nothing even close to what I experienced while waiting for my prostate biopsy. Infact even I heard those awful words a second time "you have cancer" There's no way I'll be as devastated.

There are two reasons for this:

1. Going from healthy to hearing...

Another biopsy

May 03 2012

If there's one thing prostate cancer has taught me it's this: How important it is to keep current on age appropriate tests. 

Two types of cancer run in my family: 1) Prostate, 2) Colon Cancer.

At 50 I went for my first colonoscopy.  No issues found and I was told to have another test when I turned 60. So the month I turned 60 I had the test again.  This time t...

1 year later looking forward-looking back

Mar 10 2012

Hard to believe I'm a year post surgery (March 15th). I was not one of those fortunate men who recovered everything shortly after the catheter was removed. Heck 11 months post surgery I was still experiencing bladder spasms, which usually go away in the first 1-2 months. I didn't have to suffer that long, it took me that long to get on a medication to stop the spasms.

I wasn&...

New ED medication fails

Feb 25 2012

My wife and I went on a romantic get-a-way. with me taking a new ED medication script which I thought was certain to work. It didn't. Months ago this would have ruined the entire time away.

While I was disappointed, my wife and I had a wonderful time together. Our biggest disappointment was we wished we could have got away for more than 2 nights.

Here's been my experience wi...

Tri Mix is Very Painful No more injections for me

Feb 15 2012

Went to UCSF today. Received my first and last injection of tri-mix.  This medication seriously hurts.  

The Nurse Practitioner checked my injection technique, no problems there.  ;Unfortunately,  I didn't respond to the tri-mix. In fact she said she's never seen a case where someone is getting some response to ED medication and no response to injections.  ...

You don't know what you've got till it's gone

Feb 13 2012

After months of injecting if someone would have told me that there would come a time when  I would miss injecting or tell me I'd take off from work and drive 200 miles so I could continue to inject, I'd have called that person crazy.  Yet in 2 more days I'm doing just that.

I'm driving 200 miles in the hopes of getting a new more concentrated dose of medication...

Night time erections come and go

Feb 03 2012

In Jan I had two nights where I woke up to use the bathroom and discovered I had an erection.  My hopes soared because that is a sign my nerve bundles are beginning to heal.  I thought I'd become response to ED medication and perhaps give up injecting. 

Then a month went by. No erections, no response to injections, and little response to ED medication.  Today I my...

Took a risk, no results

Jan 18 2012

At UCSF I was told not to inject on days when I've taken ED medication. Since I wasn't getting erections consistently with injections or ED medication I decided to try both together. I wasn't surprised when the combination did not work. 

It's very clear to me that my expectations with nerve bundle healing was wrong. I thought once you experience improvement, you conti...

Another 2 steps forward 1 step back. It's a dance I'd prefer skip

Jan 15 2012

I remember the healing process of regaining urinary control. At first every day was a bad day. Then I'd have a good day. This would raise my hopes that I was developing control. Then another badday would dash those hopes.

I'm experiencing this again with nerve bundle healing. One day I'll have an erection with levitra and I'll think I'm healing, the next day no respons...

Nerve Bundles are healing after all

Jan 08 2012

Last night I hit a milestone with regard to nerve bundle healing. I experienced my first night time erection since surgery. It wasn't like an erection I had pre-surgery, but it was an erection none the less. 

I purposely waited 30 minutes before going to the bathroom because I wanted to keep a good blood supply to my penis. I also wanted to test whether I'd developed a venous...

An unbelievably pleasant surprise

Jan 06 2012

I started cutting a levitra in half and taking it 3x's per week, beginning two weeks prior to my surgery. At 9 months post surgery I've had no response with regard to erections.  

With injections failing to work I thought I was a year our more away from experiencing an erection.

Today I got the surprise of my life. I was able to get a usable erection after taking a whol...

Nerve Bundles not healing as expected

Dec 30 2011

When I went to UCSF to learn penile injecting we found a dose that worked well. It was 60ml. I was told to expect an erection to last about an hour after the injection.

They explained  thatas the nerve bundles began to heal, my erections would last longer than an hour. When that happened it was time to begin cutting my dose of bi mix.

Sadly the exact opposite has happened. I di...

Pain and Romance don't mix

Dec 24 2011

There was an old song which went "Love & Marriage go together like a house and carriage."  

Pain and romance don't go as well together. Here's what a romantic time looks like injecting.

I wanted to try injecting without the auto injector to make sure I was getting the needle all the way in before pushing out the bi mix. I didn't get 1/3 in before I rea...

Going to inject again without auto injector

Dec 22 2011

This month I had two injections which I didn't respond to the medication. The last time this happened I thought the needle did not get to the proper depth. Unfortunately, the tip of the injector is not clear so you could see that the needle went the proper depth.  

This annoys me because it's obvious the people who make these devises  don't talk to or understand...

A conversation with my needle

Dec 11 2011
 As I looked at my needle filled with bimix laying on the counter I found myself speaking to it. I asked the following question: What are you, and instrument of pain, or a gateway to pleasure? 

As if to answer my question, a flood of childhood memories came back to me. Having adults hold me down as struggled go get free. I didn’t want a painful injection

Sadness no longer a part of Sex

Dec 08 2011

It's taken almost 9 months of grieving, but I've reached the other side. I find I'm no longer sad about the losses that prostate removal brings to physical intimacy. Losing the pleasurable sensation of ejaculation brought a sadness to each and every orgasm, until now. In addition often the intensity of the experience has been diminished. Now I can have some intense and some no...

Nerve bundles begin to "wake up"

Nov 18 2011

When I was told both nerve bundles were spared, I assumed I would recover my erectile functioning rather quickly. When this didn't happen I became both discouraged and depressed.

 It's not as though I did nothing to help my recovery. I took ED meds before and after surgery. I tried using a pump. I tried the pump + ED medication. All miserable failures.

Finally I went w...

Auto injector becomes a necessity

Nov 13 2011

Dr Mulhall describes the pain of injecting as a mosquito bite. So today I decided to try injecting without the auto injector. I could only get the needle half way in before pain (more like  a chain saw)  rather than a mosquito bite hit me. This  caused me to pull the needle out after it was half way in. There was no way I was willing to try a second time. I learned I can no longe...

A bad experience auto injecting leads to a fix to make the injector work correctly

Nov 03 2011

Today I used the auto injector. It's  a relief I don't have to deal with the urge to pull out the needle in response to pain.  I press the button and the needle is in.  Since   I'm up to .70ml it takes time to push the bimix through.

I was in pain the entire time. When I pulled the needle out  I noticed that some how I bent the needle on a 45 degr...

7 months post surgery-why I still wear A pad

Oct 28 2011

Last week I went out for lunch with my wife and another couple. At some point I had to use the restroom. When I got there I realized had forgot to put on a pad. I left the restroom terrified. I was   certain I'd laugh at something and end up with wet pants and huge dose of embarrassment.

I was also  frustrated  that a senior moment led me to forget to put on a pad....

Realistic Expectations For Penile Injections-Why don't more men try it?

Oct 21 2011

Two of the most distressing aftermaths of surgery are the loss of urinary control and erectile dysfunction. Most men make great strides with urinary control within 4-6 months.  

A much more  distressing symptom which lasts a much longer time is erectile dysfunction.  For the majority of men, drugs will not resolve this issue. For some men a vacuum pump works. It's a lon...

My first Auto Injection Experience

Oct 15 2011
My auto injector was waiting for me when we arrived home from vacation. I opened the box and the package. I wasn’t impressed. The injector is all plastic. I was certain if I pulled too hard on the latch, I’d easily break it rendering the devise useless.

The first task was to figure out how to place the needle in the injector and lock it in place. Once that was  acc...

Will I ever forget I have PC

Oct 03 2011
Once i regained urinary conrol I thought I'd have days that I'd forget I am a man with PC. I'm finding reminders in strange places. The other day I was sun bathing on the beach and I realized when I tookoff my shirt this was the first time my surgery scars were making a public appearance. The reminder came more forcefully when my 18 year old daughter seeing my scars for the first time said "Daddy...

Taking a vacation and a break from Injecting

Oct 01 2011
For 2 weeks my wife, daughter and I are taking a vacation. It's great to be away. After spending a full day in Disney World and shopping in Down Town Disney in the evening I came back to the hotel DRY. Quite a change from 15 pads a day. Only one reminder of having PC for the day, i had a few painful bladder spasms. They came and went quickly. It's great to be away, it's great to be dry, an...

Not the results I was hoping for

Sep 27 2011

I used a marker and injected in the correct place. I'm finding it much more difficult as time goes on, to press the needle all the way in. When I experience the pain of inserting the needle everything in me wants to pull  the needle out rather than keep pushing it in against the pain.

I'm glad I've ordered an auto injector I hope that helps with this issue. I'm a...

Correct Technique No Results, Now What

Sep 24 2011

I don't get it, I inject in the wrong area, puncture my urethra and the injection works. I get more info from UCSF, inject properly, then nothing happens.

Dr Mulhall wrote an outstandingbook titled Saving Your Sex Life. Its must read for any man who wants to preserve his sexual functioning after Prostate surgery. He states that high levels of adrenaline turns off erections even with...

What I learned from UCSF

Sep 22 2011

First I learned it's very important to be patient. It took me 3 consecutive days calling UCSF one time per day before I spoke with the nurse I needed to speak with.

The second thing I learned is the importance of being persistent. I didn't give up. I didn't give up on the idea of injecting, and I didn't give up on getting help from UCSF.  I kept calling every da...

Why I almost quit injecting but didn't

Sep 20 2011

One advantage a person of faith has over someone without faith, is we have the Living God to guide us. I knew there were lessons I needed  to learn as a result of my botched penile injection.

The  first lesson involved a familiar emotion, fear. I had no idea what I did wrong with my last injection. The one thing I was sure of was there was no way that I wanted to see blood flow...

I understand why there is a high drop out rate with penile injections

Sep 17 2011

Today was my 5th time injecting. I told my wife before I injected that rather than get easier, this feels more difficult each and every time. I've also noticed rather than gain confidence over time with my ability to inject I find myself less confident and more worried I'll do something wrong.

Ironically the day I shared this with my wife, was the day I did something wrong. ...

Climacturia - An undisclosed Side effect of Prostate Surgery

Sep 12 2011

Dr Mulhall in his book Saving Your Sex Life says that sexual stimulation results in the relaxation of the pelvic floor musculature. For men this means you may leak urine during foreplay and you may ejaculate several ounces of  urine during climax. He says up to 90% of men will experience this at least once and 20% will experience this on a consistent basis for for 1-2 years.


Injections work, prevent venous leak and it's weird

Sep 11 2011

I'm grateful I conquered my fears and learned how to perform penile injections. Most urologists do not warn men that going more than 6 months without an erection can cause permanent damage in the form of a venous leak.  

A venous leak means a man will lose his ability to keep an erection without a ring, or you will need to inject for the rest of you  life, because blood...

A summary of my thoughts about life without a prostate

Sep 04 2011
There is some controversy as to whether surgery is necessary to treat prostate cancer

Out of 50,000 radical prostatectomies performed every year in the United States alone,” Dr. Scholzclaims, “more than 40,000 are unnecessary. In other words, the vast majority of men with prostate cancer would have lived just as long without any operation at all.

Reading the Invas...

Penile Injections-Beginning Thoughts

Aug 21 2011

Injected for the 3rd time.  Here were the good things I discovered:

1. Found the right dosage and have achieved  a usable erection. YEA!!         2 .Taking Tylenol   prior to injecting stopped post injection pain.                       3. I will be able to keep this up. This means I will  s...

Penile Injections Part 2

Aug 17 2011

Meds and needles arrived and I decided to use them that night. My first attempt with the needle was too close to a vein so I stopped half way, pulled the needle out and chose a different injection   site.

I found it hurt to inject and it hurt pushing the meds through the needle. For first 10 minutes nothing. I was VERY disappointed.  About 10 minutes later the dead began to...

I HATE Waiting

Aug 14 2011

I'm from NY. Even as a teenage driver I hated waiting. In fact I wondered back then if I had to drive to my own execution, would I be in the left lane passing everyone I could to get there as quickly   as possible. The answer back then is the same answer I'd give now 41 years later. I'd not only be in the left lane, I'd be furious if a slow driver was delaying the trip...

My Smart Phone and Penile Rehab???

Aug 11 2011
 There’s something very creepy happening to me with my relationship to my cell phone. Years back, all I did was use my phone for making phone calls. Those were the days when a phone was justa phone.

Over time cell phones began to come with more capabilities. I started with a phone that could play music from the phone to my FM radio. So my phone became a way for me to hear the...

Penile Injections Part 1

Aug 10 2011

Today I went to UCSF to learn how to perform penile injections.  I am almost 5 months post surgery. I've had no success with ED medications or ED meds+the Vacuum pump.

I found the process  somewhat intimidating. At UCSF I had a female Nurse Practitioner examine me and teach me the process. I was surprised when she gave me the needle and asked me to inject myself. 

Stress Incontinence/Anxiety Rising

Aug 07 2011

Saying Goodbye to Depends and staying dry at night wasn't the end of urinary incontinence. Stress Incontinence still remains.

Sometimes I'll cough and there's no leak, another timeI'll cough and I'll leak quite a bit. Same with lifting, bending, sneezing, getting up from a chair, speaking loudly or a host of other activities as simple as yawning can cause me to leak.

No More Depends

Aug 01 2011
After 4 months of wearing Depends at night, i finally tried sleeping without one. In the morning, both the bed & I were dry! Saying goodbye to Depends was NOT a sad parting. In fact that's something tocelebrate! Nine days left until I learn to inject....

Penile Rehabilation

Jul 14 2011

Once urinary control is established, it's much easier to think about re- establishing a sexual relationship. The issue for every man is what can be done to achieve an erection.  My Urologist  started me on ED meds prior to surgery. However 14 weeks post surgery ED medication had no effect what so ever. 

For me,  the next logical step was the vacuum pump. I combined...

Coping with Erectile Dysfunction

Jul 13 2011

Losing erectile functioning is somewhat like trying to drive a car blindfolded. An erection serves as a signal to a man that he is ready, willing, and ABLE, to engage in sexual relations. A wise husband would use that signal (his erection) to spend a few hours reaching out to his wife in ways that would increase the likelihood of this wife wanting to respond to his sexual advances. Those...

Why da Vinic patients have the highest level of regret

Jul 09 2011

An article published in the NY Times says this:

"One in five men who undergoes prostate surgery to treat cancer later regrets the decision, a new study shows. And surprisingly, regret is the highest among men who opt for robotic prostatectomy, a minimally invasive surgery that is growing in popularity as a treatment."

As I've read through many Dr's Websites fo...

Urinary Incontinence Revisited

Jul 02 2011

For the last few weeks it's been great going from 10-15 depends daily down to 2 pads per day and one for evening. This week I've taken a setback. It seems every time I bend, sneeze, laugh orcough, I'm leaking urine. I'm still using the same number of pads, but the volume of urine has increased.

For the last 12 hours, I've had many painful bladder spasms and severe burn...

Sadness with Sex

Jun 23 2011

I just wrote this note to someone who just joined the forum. He was having very early recovery of both urinary control and sexual functioning.  Rather than be pleased he was feeling sad. My response surprised me and made me think about what's been going on with me. Here's what I realized:

 Receiving the diagnosis of prostate cancer is a major physical and emotional...

Things getting better allowed things to get worse

Jun 12 2011
 In the last 7-10 days I've regained about 95% of urinary control back. This development lifted my mood and sense of hope. I expected things between my wife and I to get immediately better. Instead things got worse!

I didn't realize the stress and toll all of this has taken on my wife. I also must admit, in coping with so much I wasn't very available to met her nee...

Fantasic News

Jun 03 2011

Today at UCSF my Oncology Urologist said it was his belief  I'm cured of Prostate Cancer! That's the hope of everyone who choses surgery as a treatment option. This news combined with the leap in urinary control I've gained this week, makes it the best post surgery week I've had.

Now I'm ready to deal with the next issue post surgery ED. I purchased a vacuum pump...

A Wedding Helps in Unexpected Ways

Jun 01 2011

Our son was married last weekend. While I had to use the bathroom many times throughout the event, I was so happy I actually enjoyed being with people.  As an added bonus a few days later urinarycontrol improved greatly. Down to 3 pads a day, and most of the time, those pads are not very wet.

Still dealing with an overactive bladder and ED issues. I've read that it could take as...

3 month PSA

May 22 2011

Good News- 3 month PSA .01   Bad News- Going to bathroom every hour. Urologist thinks I might have a reoccurance of interstitial cystitis. He does not want to treat me until my consult on June3rd at UCSF.  That decision was very frustrating to me. Not much I can do. On the urinary incontinence front,  down to 3-4 Depends a day. That represents great progress. On the ED front, ver...

Back in Depends

May 18 2011

This recovery dance is HARD.  Back in Depends.  Going to the bathroom almost twice per/hour + leaking. Called the Urologist for an appointment.  The only good news is I don't feelgoing back in Depends is resulting in an age regression. My wife and I were able to address some difficult issues effecting our marriage. I was correct in that I have not been emotionally available....

Slowing regaining urinary control brings unexpected change in feelings

May 15 2011

Since my catheter was pulled 7 weeks ago I've been wearing Depends 24/7. Today I thought I had enough control to put on Sir Dignity underwear. It was an amazing  feeling! Bam! Just like thatI felt like an adult again.

I never realized just how much wearing diapers made me feel like a little child until I took them off and managed without them.  This was such a rapid transiti...

First trip away from Home

May 13 2011

8 weeks post surgery still going through a minimum of 5 pull ups per/day.  We needed to get away so my wife, daughter, dog, and I went to Pacific Grove for 3 days. It was great to be on the beachand away from every thing familiar. 

From the other direction I spend a lot of time in search of public restrooms. It was a lot of work. At times I was frustrated, at other times I actua...

The more I see people, the less I want to be with them

May 07 2011

I've found a unexpected and unpleasant surprise as I've re-entered the world post prostate surgery. Almost everyone says "You look REALLY good"- Translation "You don't look  like you have cancer"

I've noticed there is an "Expectation gap" that's making it increasingly difficult to be with people. Everyone who knows my story is obvious...

Trying to spend time away from home

Apr 25 2011

As progress is moving slow, I've been trying to find out the best brand and the best pad combo to stay away from home as long as possible. It seems like every brand I've tried other than Dependsis simply awful.  So the Combination of a Depends + a Tena pad works the best.  With that combo I can get 2-3 hours.  Depending on how much I leak, sometimes I can just pull out th...

Looking back, Looking Ahead

Apr 21 2011
I mistakenly  believed  that once my surgery was over the worst had passed. In reality the worst didn't START until my catheter was removed. For the last month I haven't  left the house for more than 2 hours. If it were up to me wouldn't leave the house at all. This issue of urinary incontinence dominates my life. Until yesterday I was unaware of the e...

A worth while fight

Apr 20 2011

I am very blessed with a wife who cares deeply about the state of our marriage. Yesterday I was confronted with the fact that I've been very withdrawn, showing very little interest in what my wife is going through, not wanting to leave the house for more than an hour, unwilling to go out and have fun, and finally not being very affectionate.

I realized I've felt like a little...

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