Why wear a ribbon?

"I was once suicidal, and so because of that, I feel it's my duty to try and prev..." (SarahLund)

MDJunction to me

"To me, Mdjunction comes down to motivation. The support and information I have found here motivated me to take a very proactive stance regarding my illness. This led me to find medication and doctors that are giving me my life back.
More important than even the motivation, though, is the friendship I have found at MDJ. I have made some of the best friends of my entire life right here in this group. Even though most of us have never met, it feels as if we have known each other for years.
If Angels walk among us, and I believe that they do, most of them are here at MDJ." (aTinaL)

more testimonials

journey

Dealing with overeating, depression, and self harm issues

checking in

Aug 06 2011

im getting ready to meet some friends at a coffee house (where i'll drink DIET soda) I just wanted to check in and update my diary. I have been following my version of weight watchers until I joinup with them, prolly gunna join tuesday. I have surprisingly been able to follow most of the rules. Its easier right now because at my size i get alot of extra points. I did cheat yesterday and get a banana split, but that only put me a few points over my limit.

I have a great support team at my work, and my friends are being supportive as well. (going to start exercising at a friends like next week) I have gotten all of the junk food and really any excess food out of my house, been drinking more water, and switched to pepsi max or diet instead of regular soda. The soda thing is a HUGE deal for me because i used to (as of 4 days ago) practically BREATHE mountain dew. I am staying motivated because of my supportive people and by checking in and ready a few posts on here. I've even figured out a way to include a couple of drinks at the bar tonight and count them in my points.

Kinda scared about actually joining tuesday because I will be getting the official rules and it might not be as easy as it seems right now. Either way I am still surprised that I am staying motivated. i usually give up in a day. A secret that has helped me though is by telling EVERYONE that I am trying to do this. Knowing i have to face people that I have told I am trying to lose weight helps soooo much.

It sucks that I cant do this on my own, for me. I cant find myself worth it. Having other people depend on me means alot, and i cant let them down. So far though, thats the main difference. By doing it for others and not for MYSELF. Which is the opposite of what I have always heard. Shows how much I care about myself eh? Ill work on that issue later lol.

Also right now my mood has been stable and positive. I get down but talk myself out of it pretty quickly (listening to Britney Spears helps lol) I hope this high last awhile and i can keep things going in a positive direction. ok I have to get going. Thanks for listening anyone who reads this!

Previous diary posts by robbizzzzle:

almost done with first day!
depressed/scared/ hopefull?
long time
new pdoc and new meds
Guilt

thursday
if its not 1 thing its another
kinda annoying
song
dont know..

Comments (2) Add Comment

written by Lonelygirl83, August 06, 2011

It sounds like you're in a good place right now

but remember, you're getting healthier for YOURSELF, not other people. And FYI, I did weight watchers and lost forty pounds on it. So it does work

keep up the positive thinking and good work.

written by robbizzzzle, August 06, 2011

Thanks! Yeah 4 girls at my work use it and have lost weight and look amazing! Thats another reason why I am keeping motivated. I may work at a fantastic sams, but its in west county (which is where all the rich people are lol) and its all about image. The workers are always talking about weight loss (even when they are f'n skinny) and so are the customers. Noone says anything bad towards me but seeing them happy and healthy is a great motivator.

I am doing it for myself, but unfortunately that is not enough motivation for me. Having other people congratulate me and encourage me is the only way I have been able to stay motivated (even though its been only 4 days)

I am in a good place right now. I know it wont last for long but I will take advantage of it wheile I can! thanks for the support!!
*hugzz*