Joleen

I have been on a shift roller coaster for a bit now.  It has finally stabled out but my body still feels like it has not recovered.  :(  I did make a resolution to try to take better careof myself.  Good luck to you all this year!

Hi.  I realize I have not been writing for a while.  I have been busy with that thing called life.  I took another temporary position.  I am being manager on over nights.  AllI do is get up work wind down (2 hours at most) sleep, repeat cycle.  I have been making some leaps and bounds on things like getting out of relationships that are harmful to me and things of tha

I have not been keeping up with anything lately.  Depression has been more at the forefront of my life.

The pain and sleepiness is ever present too.  I have been without pain medications for at least 2 months now.  That has not been too positive of an experience.  There are so

A lot has changed since I have been on.  I interviewed for a different job, a home based one.  I was not hired because I go spastic when interviewed and freeze up like a deer in headlights.  I really needed that and it has thrown me into a bad funk.  That topped with my Grandma going downhill fast.  I went to visit and thought that I had things worked out at work but en

Flare Flare go away do not come again another day!

I have been in a strange flare for me for a week now.  I wonder if I am slowly moving into a different stage of the fibro.  Insomniahas been plaguing me.  I feel tired all the time and have huge black circles under my eyes.  I also find myself starving all the time which is a switch because usually if it is not emotion

I sometimes wish that I could cut off the left side of my body!  I have had 3 days in a row of waking up and from the top of my head to the tips of my left toes are sore, stiff, and uncooperative.  :(  Looking at it in a list makes me think that it could be something else.  But all of the time I have had fibromyalgia it has almost always struck on the left side of my body.&n

Doesn't the tittle say it all?

Been a rough couple of weeks.  After the break up I am still struggling with the emotions that come to me naturally.  There is still the natural reaction  to wonder if I did the right thing.  Was he the only one for me?  Will I be alone for the rest of my life?  You know the usual depression reteric.  My rational mind d

Well, I finally made a move toward a healthier life.  Dumped the excess baggage. 14 months was a long time though.I think him watching me cleaning him apt.and then trying to make me feel guiltywhen I could not breathe was the last straw.  I am tending to alternate between anger and being at peace with the decision.  It is difficult especially in the evenings when he would have ca

I have been given several things serious thoughts lately.  My job which has decided to cut hours even though we are producing gains.  Do I need to find a new job?  How can I do that when I have to have open availability for this one???

My current path of therapy that I am working on to keep in a workable mode.  Is it really helping with the pain? Or with the innate dep

Well I met my new doctor the other day.  She prescribed cymbalta.  I had to suggest it to her though.  I have felt a little nauseous, but otherwise doing well.

I finally have adate that the temporary management thing ends.  March 9th.  I am counting the days.

Wow times has flown.

Flare ups have not been as bad lately but the underlying pain is still ever present.  The depression and anxiety have seemed to amp it up recently.  I thinkthis is mostly due to the promotion at work.  I can not wait till she gets back off medical leave.

Time has flown for more than one thing in my life.  I am fast approaching

Every girl grows up with certain hopes and dreams on how her life is going to turn out.  And then as she watches all of them crash around her it makes her sad.  The old fashion American dreama house, a car, a nice fence with a dog, and a husband and 2.5 kids.   (ok only 2 the .5 is hard on them)

I am almost 30 and I have a car payment, a part time job, a semi decent boyfri

I am guessing I have had some sort of upswing on my depression symptoms because my house is no longer looking like a hurricane went through it.  It has been down graded to a tornado.  I hadthis weekend off so I went to see my family that I really did not get to visit with on Christmas because being a passenger of my Sisters.  I started feeling bad on the way down and am just now

Man do I wish that tittle meant something about warm clothing I got for Christmas instead of mood.  I have been so busy because of the pick up on hours at work.and trying to deal with that and all the freaking idiots that there are out there...

No we can't return that without a receipt, box or 1/2 the item

Look up the bathroom is right there.

If you c

I have been busy with several things like getting used to new meds and then a variety of birthdays and holidays.  This has been stressful! The holiday upped my hours at work.  which can be goodand bad.  I have been in a flare and with the new meds being proactive and nothing for reactive I have been at a loss as what to do.  I also now have bills I can not pay piling up on me a

The doctor I went to had made several comments to me and they have stressed me out a bit.  He asked if I was sure about the diagnosis because 'it was often misdiagnosed'  Also he wanted me to try yoga.  Ugh I am not a skinny-miny little girl with no problems that can contort my body at will into different positions.  I can barely even hold my own weight with

I went to the clinic today to try to see a doctor about medicine.  What I am taking is not working as well as I would like it to.  So they talkied to me about it and changed whatI am taking.  Now I am on Celexa 40 m, a beta blocker, and a muscle relaxer.  I hope that this change helps.

At times I just want to cry for hours.  The sound of an empty house.  The TV and computer may provide noise but still find myself wanting more.  I can't drive the 1/2 hour daily to see my boyfriend.  I barely scrape by as it is.  But I would love to have someone to come home to sometimes.  The place though furnished feels hollow.  That echoes how I feel insid

As I have been walking around the last couple of weeks I have been in a fog.  Leave for work early to pay rent, forget the check.  Miscount the till.  Forget to give peoplethe right change back.  Go blank in the middle of a sentence.  This of course is raising my anxiety level.  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I know I need to go to t

The other day I wrote about going to the emergency room for my migraine.  I have to say that I am thankful for them taking me in even though I have no insurance of any type.  Since that day I have had at least a moderate pounding in the back of my head.  My muscles from the glutes up are strung tight, and nothing seems to relax them. And I am worried because at the em

I woke up on Sunday with an awful migraine. The only movement was to go to the bathroom.  Most of that was unpleasant because of vomiting.  :(  I was crying with pain and could not keepanything down.  Jason was trying to be a dear but he went to a friends apt so I could have some peace.  About 24 hours had passed and I could not keep anything in me.  So I asked him to

It has been a decent week I think only the minimal need for meds.  :)  But that does not mean that things are totally good.  I have been snapping at people left and right and even almosthad a fight with my b/f this week (unusual we are both extremely passive people)  I am hoping this is not a sign that my depression med is going to quit working on me because I will need to b

I recently moved from one place to another.   This was a less stressful situation since I do not have a schizophrenic threatening me and all of my love ones  on a multi-daily basis.  I soon noticed that I was flaring up more and more which should be the opposite.  I got out of a stressful situation the flares should go down right?  Well I kept smelling something in th

I am financially strapped and frustrated.  I have had to go to clinics and such for medical care so I can get some medical care, so I may one day be eligible for assistance.  But since I wasdiagnosed in 1999 no one has even taken the time to test me, check in with me about how medicines are working or anything.  They ask if the ultram cuts the pain and I say it does a little and the

Yesterday was a very very very bad day.  I got up but hurt from head to toe.  And wanted to scream in misery.  Even after pain killers just took a level off of the pain, the headache waskiller.  All I wanted to lay there and whine.  It is a wonder I have anyone who will put up with me.  I then awake this morning, I am feeling about 60% better.  What a crazy disea

I have been on a downward spiral on my fibro for a while now.  This week it is getting worse.  I try to stay away from the medicine because when I go to work the side effects are not somethingthat can be dealt with.  Even though my job is only part time dragging myself out of bed to go is getting more and more difficult.  About an hour into the shift I am totally exhausted.&nbs