Its a little past 5 this morning and i've been trying to get to sleep for hours.  I watched  a couple movies till about 330 or so, then played on the computer for a little while.  I tried to lay down to get some sleep but that didnt work to well.  Its seems that my racing thoughts just don't wanna rest.  It is bugging the hell out of me. I am so frustrate I just want to scream.  Can't really do that considering my mom is sleeping.  I don't think she would be very happy.

     These racing thoughts have no boundaries.  It varies from what I'm doing today to what the hell is going on with my career.  I just don't know anymore.  My meds are being tweaked and tuned again.  I know its a process but it still can be quite obnoxious.  Back when I was on lithium, the first couple months I felt like a zombie.  Then it got adjusted and I was doing ok.  Then I couldn't keep the pills down and we had to try something else.  Since I've started to take the gabapentin my mood swings have come more often and more severe.  The racing thoughts are out of control.  Not so much in the day but at night they kill me.  Since the most recent uppage (probably not a word) all I want to do is sleep.  I sleep through half the day.

      I think that I will go in tomorrow (actually today) to talk to my social worker Dean, and tell him whats going on.  Maybe he'll bring me to see Dr. Luke (my psychiatrist) and we might have to change the meds again.  Who knows at this point?  Not me thats for sure.  well time to sign off from this entry.