last night i took my 12 year old daugther to the high shcool open night to buy the required unifroms and so on for next year, well after all the walking and all, i am in so much pain, and i am feelingit terrib ly

after the kids all wet to bed my hubby and i were  talking and we ended up in an argument over what i am doing wrong as a parent i guess the only reply i could muster was well you do more then i wont have to do it will i and his reply came as being do more what more can ido  and i said well you start giving out jobs to do, then i dont have to be the only one having to be teh meany, and help with the homework and do all the stuff i have to do, and while your at it offer a decent solution to my faults... but no he didnt do that he just kept going round and round in circles... needless to say i didnt end up sleeping at all last night and he isnt home yet the kids are all fighting like cat and dog and i couldnt give a shit... i rang him and asked him to come home and parent the children seeing as i suck at it, but as yet he still isnt home although if he were going to come he would have been here by now.... i told him again that i would be happy to walk if he thinks he can manage better by himslef than with me, so that shut him up didnt it... he know full well i am doing the best i can and im so sorry if that anit good enough i dont care what anyone else thiknks if i am doing a terrible job thatn someone come and show me a better way of it...  i am happy to learn anything that can be helpful but our arguemnent ended up being spiteful and i am still really hurt over some of the shit he said to me, i basically got accused of picking on his son, and not caring enough about the house well i am like fine that is cool offer me a solution, or maybe we work things on this the way his 14 year old son's mother wanted to, i do for our kids and he do for his son.... hahhahah i can see that working well so now i am like i dont even want to speak to his son incase i say the wrong thing... this is my life and i agreed to take him without any hesitation but i am beginning to wonder if it is going to cost us our marriage as a result of his little games that i am certain his mother encourages him to play,

well for all that effort i am so wanting to be by myself, but of curse i have no child care anymore on wednesday becasue i pulled the kids out becasue of that disagreemen t over me looking after the kids and still having to pay $80 a day, and i have so much pain at this minute as a result of the high school last night??? arghhhh !!!! dont start thinking that you are going well, becasue as soon as you do you crash and burn.... that is my lot anyway

oh i still did nt smoke during this stressful time..... yeyeyyeyeyeyey