Since finding out that my store is one of the many across the nation to be closed soon, I have been reluctant. I just started this job about 4 weeks ago, so there is no real drive for me to continuelearning about the company to help out with tasks throughout the day. I find myself wondering, "had I been here longer and known my job inside and out... would I care, even then?" Case in point, I am at work right now. That's right. At work, trying to avoid speaking with customers in order to avoid questions I can't answer. And their pity. Everyone wants to pity the poor employees that will soon be laid off and forced into unemployment with the rest of the dreggs of society. Oh, what will they do with the rest of their lives now that their saving grace has failed them?! Get over yourselves...

I know it is a necessity that I stay here to earn money to pay my bills and have what is considered a healthy lifestyle, but I don't want to. I don't get it... I have never been okay with just sitting around at work and avoiding my responsibilities or my customers for that matter. I don't like the way I feel and the way I think I look to others who ARE doing work... But I can't help it. I have been applying for jobs like a mad-man lately. But no one seems interested to hire me. It hasn't been long since I re-started my job search (since before I found THIS gem....) but I'm already getting frustrated and worried. I can't help but think I will never find a job that is worth having or one that pays enough so I can be happy... And pay my bills.

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