MDJunction - People Helping People
 

Why wear a ribbon?

  "My mother is a endometrial cancer survivor" (fligirl22)

MDJunction to me

sarahtroy"There's a special place in my heart for MDJ's Bipolars dealing with Alcoholism support group. As an alcoholic in recovery, it is my safe harbor. I draw strength and hope from our Bipolar alcoholics and addicts who bravely share their experiences and courageously face our common demons. This is a special, close and safe group to explore any alcohol or drug issues. I have made many dear friends and been sustained by the love and acceptance so freely offered." (sarahtroy)

MDJunction testimonials
jaguarandcubs The many faces of me......which one is the real one?


Had a bit of a wake-up call

May 27 2010

Well, I went to work with Lon, my husband, the other day.  He had a friend of his, Dave, come to help out as well.  MASSIVE job - it took us 3 days to get it done.  We even had a coupleof other guys helping.

Anyway, Lon went off to get something, and Dave and I were just chatting.  I had only met Dave once, mind you.  Lon always goes out to his place to see him, or they chat online.  All good - Dave is a great guy.  A real goof.

Dave asked me why I don't show Lon any affection.  He said that Lon is hurting and that he needs me to show him that I love him.  I told Dave that I DO love Lon, and I do show it.  Perhaps not in the way that he needs me to.  But just in those little ways.

To be honest, I don't really know WHY I'm not overly affectionate with Lon.  I used to be - I was always jumping his bones, cuddling etc.  I guess I just always loved the excitement of the early days - the classic honeymoon period.  And the challenge of conquering a man.

Perhaps I was just always shallow.  And I was with Lon, too.  He loved me SO much right from the start, and that to me was more of a thrill than anything.  Lon is the only man I have truly loved in my life, but perhaps old habits die hard.

I know that relationships change over the years.  Lon and I have been together for 11 years now, with 2 girls, so it is inevitable that our relationship would be different now.  But that is no excuse for neglecting him.  

I never realised this was happening until it was pointed out to me.  Lon won't talk to me, because I have burned him for that in the past.  So it is my own fault.  And now I don't have any excuses - I know I have bipolar, and I am being treated for it.  Lon always knew I needed help.  I wouldn't listen to him, though.

I'm very stable now - still! - and no longer volatile.  So maybe, just maybe, I can be the wife Lon deserves.  Maybe I can be the person he fell in love with all those years ago.  Because I do love him - so much.



Previous diary posts by jaguarandcubs:
Comments (0)Add Comment

Leave a comment
You must be signed in to leave a comment. Please signup if you do not have an account yet.
busy


Members who read this post also read:






Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | About Us
Copyright (c) 2006-2014 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved