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It Seemed Like an Excellent idea at the Time

After wracking my brain and then some for a good name for my diary, I came up with several options. Some were clever, some were sassy, some sort of sucked. But in the end I settled for this one because it's a very good way to explain big portions of the things I've done in my life.

So, I'm Bipolar type II with the fringes, I have insomnia that keeps me prowling the internet and watching a lot of TV, and most notably, I have an outstanding lack of impulse control. I've gotten hold of some of it, but mostly I run rampant doing things that... seemed like excellent ideas at the time.

You know how very big mistakes make really good stories? Well, I guess I have a lot of stories to tell.

Forum Copy

May 11 2011

*** Archived here for personal historic accuracy purposes***

(5/10/2011; about Macroeconomics midterm)

After procrastinating quite a bit, because I just couldn't get myself to really study (I was really nervous), I went to sleep a few hours, feeling badly enough that I took 1 mg of clonazepam before bed, at like, 5 AM. I awoke panicking at 8 AM, trembled my way to my med cab, downed 2 mg more, and went back to bed.

So, 2 hours later, here I am, nervous as all but awake and aware (not even a little bit loopy), and going to the darn thing anyway. I'm not going to do well, but It'll give me a chance instead of automatically flunking me. And as terrified as I am, I want that chance so bad, you guys. I just hope that whatever bad grade I get today, I can make up for, and that I don't crash right in the middle of it.

But going means I have to face it.

I'm terrified and determined and really kind if proud. This is quite the leap of faith in... myself.

Whish me luck? I'll call it a day if I can get a grade right between failing a passing, and can get over there and back in one piece.

Previous diary posts by eclectic:

The more the merrier
Of therapists and treatment and me (vs 2.0)
Forum copy (original version)
Of therapists and treatment and... me
Can being acknowledged as sick create an unfair ad...

New and weird side effect ( to add to the collecti...
Airhead
Do you need validation too?
Overreacting? Moi?
I blew it

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