|Oct 05 2011|
Everyone in my dad's family swore I would never be anything, that I would always have a sex problem and disgrace my family.
I was determined to prove them wrong.
I began h.s. fresh at a new school with new friends after returning to my grandparents from my foster family. Our next door neighbors had a daughter that was my age and we became best friends. Candace and I did everything together. We went to movies, dances, proms, military balls, everything.
When I was a junior I discovered some leakage coming from my breast and told my mom about it. She took me to the gynecologist and I begged that Candace get to go with me. The blood work showed that my prolactin levels were extremely high and the doctor wanted to do a brain scan. Candace and I sat in the waiting room talking about all the cute guys at our school as my mom paced the floors. The doctor told us that there was a tumor on my Pituitary Gland in my brain. He said that there was some medications that could help to reduce it but I would probably still need chemotherapy.
I lost all of my hair and I was trying to be brave for my mother and friend. Candace never once left me for a second. She came to my house daily, got all of my work from school and was just an angel in disguise. The treatment worked and I was cancer free within 6 months.
My junior year was hard for me because I lost a dear friend. He died from an aneurysm in his brain. That was difficult to endure. His brother was also a friend of mine and it was difficult to see him go through it. He eventually dropped out of school but we remained friends and I still talk to him today.
I met a boy from my school and we became high school sweethearts. He and I went everywhere together when I was not hanging out with Candace. He was on the football team and I would go watch his games, he would come watch me at tennis. I also sang in Chorus and he never missed a concert. I fell in love with him.
I graduated from high school on June 09th 2000 and I held my head high that day. I succeeded at something none of my father's family could ever achieve. I wouldn't have any scholarships waiting for me after graduation but I didn't let it bother me because I knew I had already done my best to this point. I enrolled in a technical college and decided to take radio-logic technology the coming fall. I moved out of my grandparents house and moved into an apartment with my boyfriend across town. We had decided to get married and had been planning the wedding since before I graduated. My grandparents invested in the wedding preparations and my dress was stunning.
My brother's alcoholism placed him under my roof where I was determined to see that he was taken care of. He began playing an online mmorpg called EverQuest. I came home from work one day and he was searching through my cabinets for vanilla flavoring, mouthwash, anything that satisfy his thirst. I had thrown them all out though in a desperate attempt to get him help. He jumped off the balcony of the apartment and began to run so I my boyfriend chased after him. We brought him back into the house after a long chase and told him we just wanted to help. I told him he needed to start pitching in and helping around the apartment and lay off the game for incoming calls. He said he would.
A few weeks before the wedding I discovered that Craig and Candace had been sleeping together. I came home from my job one day to find her in my bed with him. I plunged on her and began beating the hell out of her.
My brother came in to find my boyfriend on top of me pulling my hair trying to get me off of Candace. He grabbed him by the throat and threw him across the room and yelled at Candace to get her shit and get out. Then he glared at Craig and said " you ever let me see you lay one more hand on my sister, and your through with. She has been through enough in her life and no little scum like you will ever hurt her. I'll be damned" .
My brother stood for me that day and he began helping me pack everything and move it to storage.
Later that night Stephen was drunk and I was still trying to clean the apartment so I could move back in at my grandparents. Stephen had met a girl the previous year and got her pregnant. She quit seeing him because of him drinking and was adamant that he wouldn't be back in her or the babies life until he cleaned himself up. I went into his room at the apartment and He was laying on the floor staring at this little "shrine" of the girl he had created. Craig has stopped by with another friend of ours to check and see if everything was out of the apartment and make sure I didn't need anything. Stephen and Craig got into a huge argument and Craig swung at Stephen. Chris was beside him and decided to try to grab his arms and hold him so that we could get him to the car. I told Craig and Chris that he needed help and said to Craig if there was ever a moment you cared for me at all, please help me get him help.
We drove Stephen to the hospital and he was placed under observation. He agreed to go to rehab and get help.
I moved back into my grandparents and decided that I had to get my life back on track from the painful breakup of not just my engagement but from losing my best friend as well. I hooked up with an old friend from my sophomore year and she had a blind date set up for me where we would all go as a group. The guy and I were actually hitting it off fairly well and he asked to see me again.
The next Saturday he and two of his friends came to pick me up at my grandparents. One of his friends, Nathan, was getting married in a week, and his brother Lucius was with him. My eyes went to Lucius with full force. He had the most beautiful blue eyes and his demeanor was that of someone who just had his shit straight. I couldn't help but to be taken in with him. We all went to a lake fishing and then headed back to Tommy's place that night for a party for Nathan and Kim. Things with Tommy just were not hitting it off like we both thought and I couldn't help but to keep thinking about Lucius. He was just captivating.
Tommy and I began decided to just be friends and I asked him about Lucius. He told me that Lucius was quiet but a really great guy. I was invited to go to Nathan and Kim's wedding and Tommy, Lucius, and I rode together. Lucius was Nathan's best man and seeing him in that tuxedo was just too much for me. After the wedding he and I drove back to Tommy's place and he and I were sitting on the couch when I leaned over and kissed him. He confided in me that he had been very jealous of the fact that he had been single for so long and everyone knew it yet they hooked me up with Tommy.
Our relationship was everything that I had always wanted and needed from a man.
I began school that fall and my grandmother was furious with me that I was not helping out around the house and stuff like I should have been. My grandparents were very strict with me and at the age of 21 I thought I knew it all of course, so I quit school and moved in at Tommy's house. Lucius and I were still dating and we had went to a movie. He began walking into walls and stumbling and we knew there was something wrong with him. His mother called me one night and told me that if I cared anything about him I would make him come home and get physical help. Lucius was adamant that he was just tired from his job in heating and air. Still I begged him to go to the doctor. After several test it was determined that he was depressed which to this day we both disagree with because the physician that his mother had chosen was well known to diagnose depression in everyone.
He moved me into his parents with him and his mother and I were not getting along at all. She claimed that I tried to kill her by letting a bookcase which she was moving herself fall on top of her which was bogus because I offered to help her and she said she was fine. Lucius was pissed at his mom and told her that she always searched for self pity in everything and she didn't want him to be happy which was completely true.
Lucius and I moved in with Nathan and Kim after it was decided that they had found a house that they needed help with the rent on so we moved into the basement which was setup as an apartment separate to the rest of the house.
Our relationship continued to blossom.
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