just recently my husband had a relaps of a mental breakdown which lasted more then before and it was hard to get help with his doctor i took him to the er and they put him on risperdone like he does wen he relapses and this just happened last yr i told his doctor about keeping him on it to prevent and she dont even care to get intouch with me to help but he snapped out of it and is doing better but it was hell:) i love him so much but its hard to love that but we have been married 12yrs ... http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/in-my-head-2 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:02:02 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.2 http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/in-my-head-2/i-have-a-child-with-mental-disabilities-but-also-ad-hd-and-odd i have told about my little girl who is mentally disabled and i was waiting for the testing to get started on to see if there are moreand so much more she has severe ad hd and she has o.d.d . with someother concerns but good news is she isnt autistic i was worried but they didnt find any evidence of any kind i know i would love her just the same but i know i would have to pre pare for a new journey with having a child with autism she has so much going on that would be more against her,but regaur [...] mistyblue http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/in-my-head-2/not-to-me-again well i just found out i have diabetes again ,but ive had it 2x&#39;s before due to being pregnant no way now cuz ive got no uteris,and im so upset ive been like a stickler on my hubby who has borderlineor they said glucose intolerant and on his but more since he has sleep apnea from his weight and dont exercise i told my doc month ago i think its happening to me with swollen legs,going potty alot,weight gain 20lbs in 3 weeks other symptoms im familular with no doubt i have it my luck mistyblue http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/in-my-head-2/i-feel-like-a-tone-of-sand-fell-on-me i dont want to sound wrong,but i feel like a tone of sand has been dumped again on me and i cant breathe.its came to my attention and most likely without test my daughterwho is mentally delayed,and has adhd may have a for of autism.i had a break down because every day is an emotional battle to control her behavior and make sure im not losing control.now they say this to me i felt horrible to say i always wanted her but i never thought it would be this hard i wanted a little girl not all this alo [...] mistyblue http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/in-my-head-2/today-was-a-very-bad-day today was a very bad day i just found out my gma has again another battle with cancer but not 1,or 2 but 4 different cases and i cant mentally function without crying.i just met her 5yrs ago after searchingall my life before and that some one killed my father when i was 5 whom ive never or will meet and in the past 5-7yrs close ones have died do to cancer.i just want to just scream,just explode.i dont know how to really feel but cry and be sad she says she will do another chemo but i know and sh [...] mistyblue http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/in-my-head-2/im-back hi every one sorry its been along time since i was here .i lost my password and username i got a new laptop and i dont have good memory.im here now and i need lots alove ive been going through alot i hope everyone is well i miss all you keep intouchand godbless.xoxo misty<br /> mistyblue http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/in-my-head-2/how-things-can-happen-all-of-a-sudden this weekend has been crazy ,my husband was ok one minute the next he is at the hospital having surgery.on thursday my husband and i went to town to do our run arounds and we noticed we had a flat tireand we had to pick up our daughter from school so we go by and pick her up,then we went to a gas station to put some air in the tire til we make it to the tire shop about a mile away well he tried to take off the hub cap and it snapped back with his left middle finger being smashed between the rim [...] mistyblue http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/in-my-head-2/is-it-so-selfish- ok,my subject today is about am i selfish?the reason is i never knew my bio father my parents dated split before i was born.he loved kids and actually had one and a wife too.well to my moms knowledge he jumped ship and she never heard from him again and she moved out of town.i always grew up thinking my father was a dead beat,well not really in a to bad of way i found out much later he was looking for me,but some p.o.s took his life when i was 5yrs and never knew he died til i was 10.they say mi [...] mistyblue http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/in-my-head-2/i-dont-feel-im-enough some days it seems that i scream,but no one hears me,or that i do just to do again.dont get me wrong ,i love the people in my life but idk if my life is so important other then to be what i am .i feellike what i am and what i have is not good enough to give.i love my&nbsp; children and would and will give any and everything,but is it enough.i see people with so much more and i just want a bite of it more for my family cause giving to them makes me happy.i cannot no longer work because i have so [...] mistyblue http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/in-my-head-2/a-new-year-for-me The new year for me i hope its going to be good.I&nbsp; have made an attempt to do better this year with many things like taking my meds which i just got new meds for my anxiety/depression and bi polar disorder and im happy about that,and im going to be consistant with my theropy at mental health.i need to do this not just for me but my husband and kids because they need me as much as i need them and i want to give my kids the mom they will remember ,the mom did all she could and made there live [...] mistyblue http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/in-my-head-2/the-way-i-feel i dont know if im wrong for felling this way,or not feeling the way i should.my husband loves me so much and loves to be loved so much but alot of times i just shut off from him he&#39;ll want to be loveyor get intimate and im like no leave me alone i dont feel like feeling right now i used to be that loving romantic girlfriend then wife but its like now well for years now im this cold person.some people say its from the abuse i got from my step father the physical,mental ,and sexual he wasnt a [...] mistyblue