me and my sister just started speaking after a few months of not talking.  I reached out to her for many reasons...i missed her terribly and love her so much!  she is everything to me!!!

my mother doesnt know we are speaking and she is using it to her advantage....for the past few months i had a feeling my mother was lying to both of us!  making my sister feel sorry for her by complaining about me and so forth.  So now we compare lies that my mother tells us..  i asked my mother today if she had money for the rent and she said no(she pays a total of 330-400 a month for bills..cable and the rent) she didnt pay the cable for 2 month and they turned off my cable and she gave me 1 months and i had to pay the other month we were behind in order to turn back on... i wasnt aware it wasnt paid in 2 months!! so i ask her if she had the cable money at least so i can add it to the rent money.. she said yes so i told her to leave it on the dining room table and i would come home to get it.. (I paid the rent 2 days ago but dont want her to know..if she knows i wont get any help) so when i came home from work there was no money..she lied to me again..so i called her and she said ginny (my sister) was holding her money and tha i can come to her job to get the money.i told her to jst bring it home...i called my sister(she thinks we dont talk that much) and asked her if she is holding some of moms money and she said no and that mom asked her to borrow money..  so anyways mom comes home at 10pm and thats early for her..(usually gets home around 1130-130am) but being she had to give me cash she couldnt get anything afyer work(I am gussing but i think i am right) so she comes in my room and tells me how ginny came to the diner with her money tonight and this and that..ha ha what a liar bc i was out with my sister until about an hour before my mother came home!!  her lie came out of her mouth so easily and it really make sme realize how easy and carefree she was ..how many other stores are lies?? i cant belive one word my mother says to me...MY MOM lies to all her children!!  The best part is she gives me 140!! she waitresses so she has cash every night for her shit!  she doesnt buy groceries or anything..basically  i put food in her mouth and a place to live and she doesnt do anyting for us!  Is this a joke??

a couple of weeks ago my siser got into a arguement with one of the waiters she works with (my mom also woeks there) so anyways the waiter got into an arguement with my mother as well and he told my mom "why dont you go shoot up another bag"..he said this in front of my sister and my sister blew up at him pused him and he punched my sister... now my mother has a few different versions of this story.she told my brother that the waiter called my mom an old dophine vs. go shoot up another bag and when the waiter went to punch my sister my mother picked up a knife inthe diner kitchen and sliced his arm...now my mother told me a different story.. the waiter told my mom to drink another cup of tea because she is a pheen with the tea and when i asked her about the story with her picking up a knife and cutting his arm she laughed and said she was only joking around with steve(my brother) she didnt pick up a knife...that got me so angry that i said to her are you sure he didnt tell you to shoot up another bag?? she said no and where did i hear that from..i told her that ginny had emailed me and told me what happen (i know the waiter from another diner where i work on sat nights..ginny wanted me to tell her f he tried working there so she can call the cops on him) and i explained tha to my mom..she said he didnt say that to her and if he did she didnt hear that!  so later on that day she called my sister and told her that she gotten into a fight with me becaue i was screaming at her and i supposely told my mom that she probably shoots up with him..WE NEVER HAD AN ARGUEMENT ABOUT IT!! I DROPPED IT AFTER I HEARD HER EXCUSE!! I didnt want to cause problems for my sister..so i left it alone!!! she made up this story to make my sister feel bad for her so this way my sister doesnt tell me anything else! 

she gets me so mad!!! LIES AND LIES..scamming her kids!  she is sick!  she is really starting to make me sick!

She pays "her friends" 20 bucks for gas to take her to the clinic (so she says) everyday..i took her one day lat week and i got nothing!! i dontthink she gives this girl any money!!  ths is the girl she sells her methadone to...oh and she sold a bittle of meth to someoone at work in front of my sister and when my sister got mad she appologized.why do it in front of your kids?? oh the memories come back when i was a kid.. giving it to a man who came over everyday and taking the money for mom when she wasnt home!! the best part is when she taught my brother to water it down and add green food dye to it and take the money for it!! hey we were only 12-13....we knew it was wrong but didnt quite understand it all...i could write a book with the shit we had to put up with and the sickpart is i am still dealing with it all....

i am afraid if i tell her to leave she will OD, get sick or something..   i am letting her live here so i can sleep better at night..i know i wil cry and hurt for her bc i wont know where she is... its so messed up here but at least i know she is sleeping on the couch in the living room (even if she is high)  it will hurt more asking her to leave then it does now..

i dont know what else to do... she wont get help bc she doesnt have a problem so she says!