I'm not alone

So I have this acquaintance I met about 12 years ago or more. A friend and co-worker who's husband I've known for 20+ years. We ended up as neighbors about 6 years ago and became just really tight friends.

She had fibromyalgia and I had some odd things going on like vertigo. Over the years we became just the best of friends and both our health issues started to become one of

Geeze this really sucks. You see one doc who refers you to another who does knew tests and another and so on. I'm lately waiting either for an appointment, to pick up meds, to get results back or feel better for a brief 2 maybe on occasion 3 day run where I can run myself into the ground by doing 1 thing a day besides showering. This has while BP very low been a significant activity. I have

It has been such a long time since I logged in and did more than just look around. I have been so very sick, now having problems with my eyes and so much muscle weakness. My LLMD referred me to theneurologist who referred me after waiting 2 months to the same neuro opthamalogist that the eye doc did. My pupils keep wacking out doing their own thing. Fully dialated or totally constricted. Someti

It is just one thing after the next! So I have my back x rayed for ongoing pain. It is really giving me hell. Came back with osteoarthritis and some other things I don't even know what they areyet. All I know is standing up is difficult and painfull especially in the AM and again in the evening. It is limiting my walking. Back to the rhuematologist.

I can get around slowly with a lot

URggHHHH. Will this ever end? Sick so very sick of being sick. How do people make it through this? How do we pay for it? How do we earn an income when allowed to deteriorate to being mostly house bound? How do we qualify for disability when denied repeatedly after paying in all my life?

I really have tired of feeling like this is a dirty secret! What is wrong with these doctors that not o

I have to say I am just dissapointed. After receiving my serilogicaly backed diagnosis I was mostly happy that all those damn doctors didn't know jack. Then I was happy that I had something thatcould be handled and choices on how to handle it.

Since then reality has hit and I expected to see more improvement than I am which really bums me out. Four words I hate to hear "Are you

All These meds are starting to freak me out. Spending a fortune on them, especially the supplements. Dang I should by a pharmacy, wonder what their profit margin is? Hmmm.....

Today is August20th, Mom comes down from AK with my niece (Morgan Almost 5) from Portland.

Most current med list:

Larium/Biaxin for Lyme

Ceftin/Biaxin for Lyme & intracellular Lyme (Adding Cef

Started taking larium & biaxin to replace mepron/zith couldn't tolerate mepron. I have had tinnitus ringing in the ears since a terrible migraine about a year and a half ago. The ringing hasbeen constant w/varying loudness. Sometimes I listen to my ipod just to get to sleep if its bad. Good thing is it seemed so slowly but progressively to be less noticeable. Til now.

The last abo

Having Lyme has been one of the biggest challenges I have ever faced. And I have been married 4 times. I feel like having lyme is a dirty secret I'd rather not share with anyone. Heck I'd rathertalk about how I managed to fail 3 marriages than all the bugs I got!

This has been an exceptionaly difficult month. A lot of herxing, new meds, more herxing, hot weather, only son in jail,

I don't know if its the meds, the way I'm eating, herxheimer or what, but I feel like crap. Couldn't handle the Mepron/Zith combo which is good in a financial way. Couldn't afford iteither.

Started a new regimen of Larium and Biaxin. Either its making me very ill or working really well and I'm suffering a huge die off or both. My head hurts, shortness of breath, blurre

It has been a while since I have felt well enough to make an entry but a lot has changed. Change is a good thing. I have found I am intolerant of more new drugs, the hard way of course. Now weedingout what works and what I can take.

Best news of all, I found a LLMD, yeah........ He is knowledgeable and I now have a doc in the same state! I learned so much from my appointment (over 2 hours

Washington is a beautiful place to live. I love more than anything all the water. You will find it in all forms, from mountain streams to raging rivers, inside passages wandering in from its ample coast line. Waxing and waning through populated and unpopulated nooks, crannys and islands.

 It is really something to see flying from above. Night has it's beauty and twinkling with t

GUILT; The five letter word that I obsess over and over. Guilty I'm sick. Guilty I have not emailed some of you back YET. Guilty I am in pain and not able. And on and on you can fill in the blanks.

I still am astonished that this illness is real. After being sick so long you would think I could wrap my head around it but something is different lately. Been on new protocol so

I spend a lot of my days wishing and waiting it was tomorrow since I became ill.

Today I decided tomorrow is here. The last several years of my life I recall in small fragments. It's reallyquite easy as there are few memorable things to recall. Sadly today I realized how many days I have allowed to go by willingly just wanting it over. I have allowed my illness to take things from me

I do! No, I'm not depressed  beyond what would be expected of someone in our position. It is just a simple fact of my life. This is the only place for me to get rid of this horrible realizationwithout fear of repercussion, being judged or written off for nuts.

My husband is so very helpful, but even lately with positive test results, I feel like this is so sureal. It

LEVAQUIN; Has anyone successfully taken this Rx?

I have taken a lot of different drugs since becoming ill and always wonder what they (people like us) mean when they say "If you can tolerateit"? Wonder no longer, I only lasted nine days on that bad, bad, oh so horrible stuff.

Talk about side effects; Mostly it came down to being so very sick, worse herx and more than ever

Levaquin ; I am going to stop for a week and see what happens. Kinda in a dark place lately, don't know if it is from lyme or herx or levaquin but it sucks.

I feel so tired especially aftereating. Days like this make it hard to remember what it feels like to benormal and healthy. I never go any where anymore don't even want to. This is so not me.

Between the financial burden

Home now for a little over a month. It was good until the crash that came after so much activity. My husband is a wonderful man and has been tending to most of the household duties even learning tocook and pushing me to eat.

My heels were causing me a lot of pain (new symptom) that has become an increasing problem until my doc finally clinically diagnosed me with Bartonella and Babesosis

I am just so excited to go home after 2 1/2 months in Alaska. I got doctors walking papers to return to Washington and continue with treatment from the comfort of home where my husband eagerly awaitsmy return. If that is just not the luckiest person ever to have a man still standing by my side through all this unknown and foreign territory I have been clouded in by for so many years.

The

Its been a while since I have made an entry. I am getting better but have found that sometimes it does get worse as treatment really starts to work. For the first time in the last several (at least3) years I am starting to look forward. Not just forward in planning for a life of increasing disability but planning for a future life worth living!

I am not dissolutioned into thinking the ha

Unbelievably perfect day. I cannot recall making through an entire day without some major issue to deal with. It is important to me to keep track of how good I feel at times because I will re-read in the future to refresh my memory of better days.

My facial palsy which bothers me terribly self confidence wise and willingness to go out in public quite often because I feel it looks li

Haven't wrote in a few days. Seen the doctor Monday, had a photo-ox after the appointment. Tuesday, had a gluiathone (? spelling) IV, Wednsday had a vit c IV. This did not work so well. I was pokedrepeatedly and started on it then my vien litterally pushed it out causing much swelling and pain! Nurses were baffled never seen it before. No more of those for me.

I have also been doing

I started treatment five days ago. This morning or should I say throughout the night I experienced Pain that kept waking me up. Horrible! It seemed as though every single joint hurt making difficultto sleep, stand and walk. It did get better through the day, I was able to sleep most of it and keep meds down long enough to kick in.

 Next complaint, chest pain and unable to catch my br

My very first entry. Just started biaxin this week and continuing on plaquinel/hydroxychloroquine for Lyme disease. Also on many other meds and supplements to deal with all the different aspects thathave been ignored for so long. I was told it would get worse before it gets better and from my pain level and lack of sleep I geuss I would say, No Kidding! Facial palsy, facial pain and twitch