|Jun 25 2010|
Stupid mixed episodes. I'm tired of this. Too much crap happening in real life, and some that's bled over onto the boards. I should've listened. It was a bad idea, but I knew everything and there'd be no problems.
As usual I was wrong. As usual my life is now a bit of a shit-storm. I'd pull my hair out, but I guess I've done that already. I'd pull someone else's hair out, but I don't think they'd appreciate that. So I'm stuck with clenched fists and no brick walls around.
I refuse to burn myself over this. I can't afford to do that anymore, with the divorce pending. I don't want to lose all rights to my son cuz I'm a stupid psycho jackass. But if I had that nice brick wall, all could be well. I can explain away a broken hand easier than a burn.
I'm antsy and can't sit still, but don't want to do anything. My mind is a raging inferno of guilt, shame and hurt.
For the love of all that's good, can't something just PLEASE go right for once? Yeah, that's what I thought.
I have two close confidants on here, and they both knew I was heading toward trouble. Note to everyone: If your confidant tells you something, LISTEN TO THEM. Don't be a Patrick.
A disturbing pattern leaves me wrecked.
I'm tired of it now...
People are irritating.
Just when I thought...
The cold light of day
Oh it gets worse...
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