Why wear a ribbon?

"I wear this ribbon cause I find a lot pple have never heard of EDS.. That includ..." (Jimmyjos123)

MDJunction to me

"MDJunction means that I no longer have to feel like I am the only person in
the world with pericarditis. It means that I can talk to others who know
how stressful and how painful having pericarditis can be. It means that I
connect with others to discuss treatments that have or haven't worked for us, so that we have a leg to stand on. I think that having my friends at
MDJunction has allowed me to better mentally and emotionally process my
diagnosis and what it means to me. I feel so lucky to have this community
available to me. I use MDJunction as a way to use my experience to help
others. Reaching out to help others is the only solace I have found since
being diagnosed with pericarditis." (Hazeldee)

more testimonials

I'm doing this why? Scared but trying

Isolation

Maniacally Depressed

Jun 25 2010

Stupid mixed episodes. I'm tired of this. Too much crap happening in real life, and some that's bled over onto the boards. I should've listened. It was a bad idea, but I knew everything and there'd be no problems.

As usual I was wrong. As usual my life is now a bit of a shit-storm. I'd pull my hair out, but I guess I've done that already. I'd pull someone else's hair out, but I don't think they'd appreciate that. So I'm stuck with clenched fists and no brick walls around.

I refuse to burn myself over this. I can't afford to do that anymore, with the divorce pending. I don't want to lose all rights to my son cuz I'm a stupid psycho jackass. But if I had that nice brick wall, all could be well. I can explain away a broken hand easier than a burn.

I'm antsy and can't sit still, but don't want to do anything. My mind is a raging inferno of guilt, shame and hurt.

For the love of all that's good, can't something just PLEASE go right for once? Yeah, that's what I thought.

I have two close confidants on here, and they both knew I was heading toward trouble. Note to everyone: If your confidant tells you something, LISTEN TO THEM. Don't be a Patrick.

Previous diary posts by FatherKarras:

Friends
Disability hearing?
A disturbing pattern leaves me wrecked.
I'm tired of it now...
People are irritating.

Cool new toolbar
Hallucinations!! HURRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just when I thought...
The cold light of day
Oh it gets worse...

Comments (4) Add Comment

written by Coskin, June 25, 2010

I am sorry you are going through very rough waters. I think, we all have made choices that have not had the best outcome for the well being of others as well as ourselves. Whether we were warned or not. You can still, at some point, reach a safe harbor. I pray it'll be soon. Meanwhile talk to us we are here for you.
Monica

written by Dit, June 25, 2010

My heart goes out to you, glad you are posting b/c we are here for you and care. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

written by jaguarandcubs, June 26, 2010

Patrick, you need to cut yourself some slack. None of us are perfect - lord knows I am far from it! We all make choices that turn out to be not good ones. We can't change that - all we can do is try to keep going and make better choices.

Breathe.....focus on what you need to do to get through this hurt. You are a strong man, Patrick, and you know you have a lot of people who will help you. The struggle won't last forever, hon. It really won't. *HUGS*

written by scoobydoo61, June 26, 2010

Hang in there The burning won't help, you just need to follow your advice and you can get through this with patience. We all mess up Dude, God Knows I have and Im 49 going on 199, sorta like the crypt keeper so to speak But your in my Prayers too.
Ron