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If there's a soulmate for everyone..

These are my rants about my life as a bipolar spouse.

Day 4

May 19 2011

I havent heard from my boyfriend in 4 days. I think maybe it's over. I cant say these past few days have been hard..most of the time ive been way too busy to even have time to be upset. My new job requires lots of networking and ive been going out with work friends after work. I have been drunk every single night this week which is not usually like me. But I am trying to fit in and make friends and I think its working.

Ive also made very good friends with the 3 girls I now live with. They have been inviting me out every night this week as well. So as soon as I get home from work there is always so much stuff that I have planned that there is just no time to even think about my boyfriend.

He hasnt texted..and I havent texted him. The last time we texted he pretty much answered a few questions and then ignored me the rest of the night even when I kept trying to talk to him. So I decided im not going to try to contact him anymore..I will let him come to me.

I also deactivated my facebook so I dont really even know what hes been doing! I dont want to reactivate it either because im too scared of what im going to see. Sometimes I think its almost better this way. And maybe he feels the same too. Maybe it is time for this to be over. I love him and miss him but I dont know if it will ever work between us. His friends dont like me..and he doesnt really like my friends. So we have to hang out alone which is never very fun.

These past few days I have been more social than i ever have been in my life. And it feels great. Ive actually met a few nice guys as well. Just as friends but maybe someday..

I just cant help that I feel so strongly connected to my boyfriend. I wonder if that feeling will ever go away. :(

Previous diary posts by blonde0337:

I thought I took him back. But im still alone?
90 days?
Poor Me
fighting the urge.
where do I go from here?

I saw the ex today
woe is me.
Definition of Insanity.
hate.
i want a boyfriend :(

Comments (2) Add Comment

written by taylynn, May 19, 2011

it will go away! it will take some time, or maybe a new man! lol
hugs!!

written by marriedtoit, May 19, 2011

Stay strong and stay away from him. The pain will eventually go away and when you get enough distance, you will realize that you were lucky--you escaped a terrible relationship! It will take time to realize this. For now, hang tough. You can do this!